Second Chances
by yslana
Summary: The Doctor is captured and drugged, but Amy and Rory can't help him now. When a strange woman in a glowing TARDIS materializes in front of him, Rory doesn't know if he can trust her - and even her help may not be enough to quell the storm that's been brewing around the Doctor for centuries.
1. Chapter 1

_Standard disclaimers apply._

Part I: Oneiros

Chapter 1

Rory gasped for air and, with one last heave, managed to drag Amy's limp body all the way into the TARDIS and slam the door behind them. He could hear blaster fire outside, but nothing penetrated the ship's defenses. Now that he was safe, the adrenaline drained out of him and he sagged against the door. Amy sagged with him, her head falling into his lap and her hair spilling over his legs. Her beautiful red hair.

Amy was dead.

The realization hit him suddenly like a ton of bricks. She was dead, gone, ended, not coming back. Never coming back. Hot tears burned his eyes and fell, only to splash against her pale cheeks. He grabbed her arms and pulled her up to be cradled against his chest.

"Amy," he whispered, his voice cracking. "Amy."

He sat like that for a long time. He cried and whispered her name and prayed that the Doctor would come back and save her again because there was nothing he could do. He held her close and stroked her hair and rubbed her cold fingers between his own. There was too much grief.

It was hours before he calmed down enough to realize that the TARDIS was making a strange humming noise that he'd never heard before. Strange, but... almost musical. If he focused hard enough, it sounded like a song. A lullaby?

Soft amber light pulsed around him, brushing Amy's skin just so - that was all it took; she looked alive again, only sleeping, nothing to worry about. Rory wondered, a little bitterly, if this stupid grasping hope would have been quite so persistent before he met the Doctor.

Before he could follow that thought too far, an alien presence warmed his mind, bringing a feeling of comfort. He swallowed. The TARDIS was comforting him.

He broke down.

* * *

"You?" The Doctor looked over the familiar, squat figure in a poor mockery of his own suit, then glanced away dismissively. He turned, eyes sweeping the room - they were in the console room again - but nothing seemed to catch his attention. "I don't have time to play games with you."

"Of course you do. In fact, you have all the time in the world. I mean, what else would you do out there now that you've killed Amy?"

The Doctor whirled around, roaring. "Do not toy with me!" His voice was full of rage, but it was only a disguise. His eyes spoke of pain and desperation instead. "There are no weapons in here. Are you going to make me blow up my own TARDIS again?"

"In such a hurry to leave, are you?"

"I'll take that as a yes." He spun again, moving to the console. He flicked switches, pressed buttons, typed in commands. The same sequence as before. He paused, then pushed the last button. Everything went white.

When he opened his eyes, he was still surrounded by white. That wasn't right. White walls, white floor, white ceiling - but the last place he remembered in the physical world had been dark and dusty. And there was something about this room...

He turned to the right and felt the blood drain out of his face. Those levers, standing alone on either side of the room, were burned into his mind. That wall, that cursed wall, tearing her away from him.

This was the Ghost Shift room.

* * *

Rose wiped a stray tear from her chin as she reached for the keyboard. She had listened to his message hundreds of times, but it was still seven years since she'd seen his face warm with life, felt his fingers twined with hers. She missed him so much that sometimes she couldn't bear it. When that happened, it usually meant one of two things: she would run as far and fast as she could from his memory, or she would play the message again and cry herself to sleep.

The first option was, truthfully, one she had learned from him. When you can't face your sorrows, run from them. She tried to stick with this one more, because it was more likely to leave her ready to face another day. The second one was for desperate moments, like when she thought she was starting to forget him. Then she would turn on his message and realize that she could never forget any part of him, even if she lived till the end of time.

Tonight was a desperate moment.

His image popped up in front of her, life-sized and comfortingly solid. He was smiling that sweet, tender smile that always melted her heart.

"Rose," he said. "My Rose. Don't cry. We always knew it would come to this. Even if it used to be the other way around. Remember those days? You promised me your forever, and I was so scared to accept because I wasn't sure how I'd survive when you were gone. And then - and then Canary Wharf, when you disappeared right before my eyes. I knew it wouldn't be forever, but losing you so soon... it nearly drove me mad. When I said goodbye to you at Bad Wolf Bay, I still couldn't put it into words. Our time ran out, just like that.

"But you came back to me. Despite every obstacle the universes put in your way, _you came back_." His smile wavered. "That's a gift, and I've never been able to figure out what I did to deserve it. But I cherish it. Our time together, Rose, it means more to me than I can say. So, now that it's come to this, please don't be sad. Not forever. Be happy for all these moments we thought we'd never have.

"And whenever you're ready, you can run Emergency Program Ten. Don't fuss at me, now; I know you probably want some time to yourself before you face them again. But don't forget this program, Rose, because it's really important. They love you just as much as I do, they'll be happy to see you-and you will never need to be alone.

"You made my life brilliant, Rose Tyler. I love you."

Rose clutched the keyboard to her chest as tears streamed down her face. "I love you, too, John," she sobbed, though there was no one to hear. Her heart ached for him, but he was gone. Nothing would ever change that.

The next morning, she woke up surprisingly refreshed. Perhaps sleeping in a bed instead of on that long cushion in the console room made a difference. She got dressed, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, scrubbed the tearstains from her face, and went out to greet the TARDIS.

She was about to ask where their next destination should be-since she wasn't quite ready to run Emergency Program Ten - when she suddenly realized that she would never be ready. She could spend the rest of her life running and it would never be enough.

She sat on one of the console chairs with a heavy thump, her good mood vanished. She was running and she needed to stop. "Oh, John," she whispered to herself, "you were right."

Making a very impulsive decision, Rose faced the time rotor and said, "TARDIS, run Emergency Program Ten."

* * *

_A/N: This is my first published fanfic, so I'm interested in what people think about it, what you like, what you don't. Drop me a line!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Rory wasn't sure how much time had passed since he'd brought Amy back to the TARDIS. The sounds from outside had died down at some point, but the lack of natural lighting inside made the time difficult to judge. Amy was cold and starting to get stiff. The Doctor hadn't come back yet, and Rory was starting to wonder if he would ever come back. In the meantime, what was he supposed to do? He was alone, and he was lost.

The TARDIS burbled, so he looked up. Maybe he wasn't completely alone, and even if his only companion was a sentient but wordless time-traveling machine he felt a little better. He had cried until he couldn't cry anymore, and then he was pretty sure he had fallen asleep still slouched against the front door of the TARDIS, and then he had woken up and cried again. The grief had gone from a raging flood to a quiet trickle that no longer had the energy to drive him. He needed to do something.

He wasn't exactly restless, it was his common sense slowly reasserting itself and letting him know that he shouldn't really let himself starve to death in his best friend's ship with his dead wife in his arms. His wife needed burying, and his friend, at this point, probably needed saving.

Rory looked down at Amy's brilliant hair once more. He couldn't just bury her here, though. What about her family? And his family, for that matter? They would want to say goodbye. He glanced up again. "Uhh, TARDIS? Is there somewhere I can..." He gestured helplessly at Amy's form sprawled across his lap.

Almost immediately, a door appeared in the wall opposite him and swung open.

"Well, okay." So he picked Amy up and carried her across the room and through the mysterious new door. It led to a room that looked like something out of a fairy tale. Beautiful green grass growing beside a crystal-clear stream. And under the most perfect weeping willow he'd ever seen, there was a person-sized glass case, lying open.

"You want me to put her in there?" he asked incredulously. "I hope you know what you're doing." But he laid Amy in the glass case anyway and watched as it sealed itself up. "Wait a second, this is exactly like that stupid fairy tale!" He was going to say more, but then he realized that none of it really mattered.

He stood and watched her until his stomach rudely reminded him that a meal was overdue. Funny how even when your world stopped, you kept going, he thought.

* * *

Fire bloomed all around him. It consumed the delicate silver trees and the red grass. It devoured the corpses that littered the ground. It ate into the sky, rising in great walls to obscure the suns. But it didn't block the screams of the dying, and it couldn't touch him.

The Doctor stood perfectly still beside his counterpart, but he was sinking deep into the kind of anger that destroyed stars.

"Having fun yet?" the Dream Lord asked innocently. "I know you've missed this old place. It must be good to see it again."

With a wordless snarl, the Doctor fell on him, hands closing around his throat. They toppled to the scorched ground together in a tangle. Just as the Doctor drew back a fist, he was thrown to the side. He recovered his balance enough to rise to his knees, and he realized the scenery had changed yet again. Reining in his fury and trying to calm his breathing, he recognized Davros before him.

That sunken, ravaged face sneered down at him. "The man who abhors violence," he croaked venomously, "never carrying a gun. But this is the truth, Doctor."

A flicker of memory: his hands shaking on the lever, Gallifrey dying, then ensuring it's permanent. It was there and gone in a nanosecond and Davros loomed before him again.

"You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this."

He screamed out his rage and frustration. Then the Dream Lord was beside him and they were both in the TARDIS.

"What's wrong? Stub your toe?"

The Doctor pulled himself to his feet and leaned menacingly over his other half. "You've had your fun," he growled. "I've lived these memories once, isn't that enough? I'm through with your games. Let me go."

"Not with that attitude," the Dream Lord scolded. "I don't think you've properly appreciated all the-"

_"Do it!"_

He actually looked a little taken aback at that. "As you wish." He waved his hand and the world dissolved.

The Doctor knew he would suffer enough with Amy's death; there was no need to make it worse by opening old wounds. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes - to the emperor of the Daleks gloating as his fleet descended upon the Earth.

* * *

"This is Emergency Program Ten," John's voice said. His image flickered blue and transparent before her. "Rose, this might be the end of our road, but there's another adventure waiting for you just across the Void. The other me never figured out how to travel safely between universes now that Gallifrey is gone, but he never had you to help him with that.

"So, like we talked about, we're going to use Bad Wolf's power to shield you as you make the crossing. To do that, we need your blood and a constant physical connection between you and the TARDIS. There should be a little hand pad on the console now; I just installed it. I need you to find it and put your hand on it."

At the pause, Rose did exactly that. The pad struck her as eerily similar to the ones on Satellite Five, but maybe that was John's idea of a joke. That was where the Bad Wolf had appeared to him, after all.

When she pressed her right palm against the pad, she felt a sharp prick as a needle dug into the tip of her middle finger. John's voice resumed. "Good. Now, don't move your hand. And maybe brace yourself. Your driving's loads better than mine, but it might be a bumpy ride." The recording paused again as Rose shifted, taking his advice. "All right, this is it." He grinned at her. "Allons-y!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Put him here," the medic said, pointing to an empty bed near the door, one of the few remaining.

The two soldiers carried in another of their brethren and laid him down on the designated bed. By now, word had spread throughout the troops, and they were wearing thick gloves tucked into the sleeves of their uniforms. She herself was wearing gloves and a high-necked jacket, just in case.

"No word on when they'll be up again?" one of them asked her hopefully. His uniform marked him as a low-ranking soldier, no one she recognized.

She shook her head. "Not yet. We still haven't figured out exactly what's wrong with them."

The other one, whom she recognized as Lt. Jamison, glared at the Doctor, jerking around unconsciously in his bed at the far end of the room. "They say it's his fault. Just another dirty trick."

She knew he'd been at the battle of Demons Run. He still held a grudge for that crushing defeat, so she chose her words carefully. "He seems to be affected as well, but we're keeping an eye out for any possible subterfuge," she told him. "His vital signs are being constantly monitored, and he's strapped securely to his bed."

She didn't mention that the straps were more to keep him from injuring himself with his thrashing than to protect anyone else. After three weeks without a change, the probability of it being another of the Doctor's tricks seemed practically nonexistant.

"I don't know why we don't just kill him where he lies," Jamison muttered. "That was the whole point of the ambush, you know. To kill him."

"Orders from up top," she answered with a shrug, telling him clearly that the decision was out of her hands. Out of his hands, too. "I think they're waiting to see if they can find a cure for our people before they chance doing anything with him."

He snorted. "Why bother? We can do that after we get rid of him."

"Maybe not." She kept her voice soft, almost secretive. "We think their condition is caused by a telepathic field, which would mean that killing him could kill the others as well." It wasn't a secret at all - wasn't even true, not the second part - but it sounded plausible. She was counting on him to spread word amongst the soldiers. She was tired of people complaining to her about what they thought should be done with the Doctor.

The other soldier gave a low whistle. "A telepathic field communicated by touch? How?"

Jamison's reply oozed condescension. "Didn't you know? The Time Lords were touch telepaths."

"Why don't you fill him in? The papal mainframe may have more information about it." She wasn't sure that he was strictly correct, but she didn't care to argue the point. She just wanted these two gone so she could finish hooking her latest arrivals into the life support system. And then, maybe, they could quarantine this room.

* * *

"Did she even intend to bring us here?" he heard himself ask, looking around the thick growth of unfamiliar trees. The Doctor struggled with the feeling of nausea that washed over him. The Dream Lord had left him alone for this one, and somehow that made it worse.

"What does that even mean?" Amy retorted, perfectly unaware of what was about to happen.

"It means," the other him continued, "that this didn't feel like a normal landing."

And it hadn't, not that it mattered now.

He tuned out the next bit. The first time he was forced into this memory, he had watched intently. He had done so with every memory of Amy, drinking in her face, her voice - knowing he would never see her alive again. But now they grated against him, whispering that she was dead, dead, dead.

Rory's voice drew him from his reverie. "Doctor, what did you say this planet was called?" The end was nearing. The three of them had almost lost sight of the TARDIS. This was the part he couldn't ignore.

"I didn't say." He dove into a bush. It muffled his next few words, but they were practically carved into his brain by now. "The new owners haven't given it an official name yet, just Alaraaq 4. You know, the way Earth is Sol 3. Why do you ask?"

"I saw something on the screen just before we left the TARDIS," Rory replied nervously. "There was a bit of a flash and then two words-"

The Doctor cut him off as he popped out of the bush and froze, fear in every line of his body. "Run!" But they were surrounded by uniformed clerics.

He whipped out his sonic and managed to fire off a Cordolaine signal. He pushed Amy and Rory through the line of soldiers encumbered by their now-useless guns. He followed, trying to keep himself between his companions and the weapons, until he heard an ominous chanting from the surrounding forest.

They were still running. Almost to safety. The Doctor risked a glance behind him, but the clerics simply stood watch over their retreat. He waited for it to hit him again - and every time felt like the first time.

"Amy, no!" Rory's cry brought his attention back to his companions just in time to see Amy struck by a blast from the hand of a headless monk. She stiffened, then crumpled.

* * *

Rory was pacing alongside Amy's glass case when he heard the very distinct sound of the TARDIS dematerializing. His heart leapt into his throat-could the Doctor have finally come back? Were they leaving? He raced out of the peaceful meadow and down the hall to the control room as fast as his legs would take him.

When he reached the console, however, he was greeted by the disturbing sight of the TARDIS's outsides on its insides. What else could it be? The Doctor was alone. The last of his kind, Amy had said. There were no other TARDISes left, House had proven that. Except that their own time rotor wasn't moving at all. There really was another TARDIS materializing inside this TARDIS, and now that he really looked at it, it was glowing.

Without thinking, he grabbed his short sword and pointed it at the door of the blue police box solidifying in front of him. For what felt like an agonizingly long time, nothing happened. There were no sounds coming from the other TARDIS, and nothing was happening in their own.

Then the door swung open and Rory steadied himself, but he wasn't prepared for the golden light that burned his eyes or the young woman at the center of it. He raised his free hand to shield his eyes. This was the same light that had glowed around the strange TARDIS as it materialized.

He blinked and lowered his hand. The light was fading now, but there were still traces of it in the woman's eyes as she studied him.

"Where's the Doctor?" she asked.

In a London accent.

Rory mentally smacked himself. No matter what she sounded like, he still couldn't trust her. "Who are you?" he demanded, leveling the sword at her again.

"My name is Rose Tyler." The stranger glanced down at his weapon as though she hadn't seen it the first time. Then she met his eye with a mischievous quirk to her lips. "Look, I'm sure you know what you're doing with that sword, but I'd rather have us gettin' off to a good start. I'm guessing you're the Doctor's latest companion?"

Rory gave a jerky nod, slowly lowering his blade. "Something like that. I'm Rory Williams. You know the Doctor how?"

But as soon as he'd lowered the weapon, she'd shifted her focus to the room, taking in all the strange contraptions. "He redecorated in here. Looks nice." A sudden smile warmed her face. "I missed you too, ol' girl! It's good to be back."

Rory cleared his throat pointedly. If he hadn't met the TARDIS himself, he'd have said she was as mad as the Doctor.

She blinked and refocused on him. "I traveled with him, a long time ago. Well, maybe not that long for him." She studied him. "What year are you from?"

"2011."

"And what year is it now?"

"Uh, 5167," he answered, then moved to intercept her when she reached for the console. "I'm sorry, what are you doing here again?"

"Looking for the Doctor. I said that." She stood on tiptoe to peer over his shoulder. "Why, are you hiding him?"

"Look, Rose Tyler, what exactly about this situation makes you think I should believe you?" he began, squaring his shoulders. "You show up out of nowhere - _in a TARDIS _- and land _inside_ the Doctor's TARDIS. Where would you even get a TARDIS? How do I know you didn't steal it? Of course you're asking for the Doctor, everyone does, and it usually isn't good." He still wasn't over the fact that his own daughter had killed the Doctor. Twice. "Yet you're expecting me to just trust you."

Rose had the decency to look abashed. "Sorry. Wasn't thinking. But if you just bring him out, he'll recognize me. I'll wait here and not touch anything, if it makes you feel better."

Rory froze. His bluff had been called. _Think fast._ "I-"

He'd hesitated too long. She frowned. "He's not here, is he?"

Rory shook his head mutely.

"Then where?" Watching the expressions shift across his face, she knew. "He's in trouble."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Don't make me go back. Doctor. Please. Please, don't make me go back."

The Doctor looked on numbly as he took everything from Donna, everything that he'd given her. Her tears and breathless, terrified pleas burned into his hearts all over again.

"No. No, no, please! Please no. No. No, no-"

He forced her frantic voice from his ears, turned away from the inevitable end. He had buried this pain already! Why was it so fresh?

Knowing that the Dream Lord was watching him with sadistic glee, he refused to let his own tears fall. He had survived this before, and he would again.

But as soon as he steadied himself, the world shifted around him. Suddenly he was back on the Valiant, the Master falling before him as someone wrestled the gun from Lucy's trembling hand. His body moved of its own volition, cradling his friend.

"Dying in your arms," the Master taunted. "Happy now?"

He reminded himself sternly that his oldest friend had not died here. Though it had seemed so permanent at the time, he'd found a way back. And they'd even regained some of that cameraderie, if only out of the Master's selfish desire for revenge.

The reminder didn't help. It was almost worse that he'd lost Koschei later, after that tantalizing hint of friendship had emerged between them. No, better not to think about that. He turned back to the scene playing out in front of him.

_"Regenerate!"_ he was screaming.

But Koschei didn't.

The Doctor turned to the man beside him. "What's the point of all this?" His voice came out hoarse. "Why keep me here? Why show me these things?"

Instead of his usual gloating and mockery, the Dream Lord regarded him with hard eyes. "Because you deserve them," he hissed. "Because I'm sick of you ruining everything you touch. Because I want you to _hurt_."

* * *

Rose had been, to be honest, a little relieved when she'd been greeted by a companion instead of the Doctor himself, even if he was pointing a sword at her. Since the end of John's recording, her stomach had been twisting itself into knot after knot after knot.

This wasn't like the last time she'd returned. There was nothing accidental in the way they'd parted, and she couldn't help worrying that maybe he'd moved on or didn't want her around anymore. In fact, she'd started hoping that she wouldn't be able to locate his TARDIS and Emergency Program Ten's second control loop would kick in. She knew Jack would always be happy to see her.

Now instead of nervous, she was furious. This useless companion had known the Doctor was in danger, and he hadn't done anything about it. All her hesitation about coming here was washed away. She was going to save her Doctor and then she was going to give this Rory an earful.

Until she noticed his expression - not guilty or afraid, but hard and a little sad.

"Why didn't you go after him?" she asked, pushing her anger aside and keeping her words neutral.

Rory dropped his face into his hand and shuddered. "The Doctor went mad, like a wild animal, when - when Amy died. It was all I could do bring her back here. The ones who killed her, they're still standing guard outside the TARDIS. I'd never have made it back to him in one piece, and I can't exactly afford to die any more than I already have. I thought he'd come back, so I waited." He paused to gather himself and looked back at her. "It's been three weeks."

Rose was stunned. So many questions ran through her head and she wanted to ask them all at once. She managed to restrain herself. One at a time. "Who's Amy?" Her Torchwood training took over, and she slipped into questioning mode. Firm, but kind.

Rory's composure wavered. "My wife. We've both been traveling with the Doctor since before our wedding. It's hard to tell how long it's been for us, but it's been about two years at home."

Rose felt his grief pierce her heart. She knew what that loss was like, and Amy's death had clearly devastated the Doctor. "How did she die?"

"Blasted by a Headless Monk."

She'd come back to that later. "But then you brought her back to the TARDIS."

"Yeah, so we could bury her at home. Or maybe I was hoping the Doctor would manage some sort of miracle, bring her back to life. It's happened before. But since he never came back, the TARDIS showed me this... this casket where I could put her body. It's preserving her, but it seems a little pointless now. I can't go after the Doctor, but I can't pilot the TARDIS and get us out of here, either. We're still stuck."

He sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's just - there doesn't seem much point to hiding it now. The Doctor's probably dead or worse, and Amy's gone, and I'm stuck here in limbo until I die of old age."

His words stirred a memory within her, faint but clear. She hadn't really understood it then. Hadn't understood how it was possible. _"Life is easy, just Nature's way of keeping meat fresh."_ Now it made sense to her, but she'd ignored those words for so long when she realized they wouldn't save John. But maybe they could help Amy and Rory.

But first she wanted to satisfy her curiosity. "You said you'd died before. Are you..." _Are you like Jack?_ she wanted to ask.

Rory looked startled. "Those were flukes. A lot of strange things were happening and I sort of got caught up in it." His eyes went distant, recalling old memories. "I died in the Silurian city, and then I was unwritten. Like I never existed. Then I woke up as a Roman, with both sets of memories. I was the Roman soldier and the boy from Leadworth. That's where I got the sword," he added as an aside.

"The Doctor and Amy showed up, but she didn't remember me. That was awful, but it only got worse. It turned out that I was just a plastic dummy that these aliens had created from Amy's subconscious in order to trap the Doctor. And I shot Amy. Couldn't stop it, they were controlling me."

The Nestene Consciousness, she'd guess. Rose nodded encouragement to continue.

"I thought that was the end. The Doctor said no. He put Amy in this box, the Pandorica - supposed to be a prison, but it had healing capabilities, too. A lot happened that day, it's too complicated to explain. Basically, the Doctor rebooted the universe. Amy and I woke up on the morning of our wedding day and it all went on from there.

"But you see what I mean. I'm not immortal or anything. I don't think anyone really is. Even the Doctor can die."

Rose nodded again, wondering whether the Doctor had explained regeneration to his new companions. "Everything has its time," she echoed Sarah Jane. "Still, I know a man who's near enough immortal that it makes no difference, and I think we could use his help."

She stood and grabbed Rory's hand to drag him to his feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To visit a friend." She pulled her new acquaintance through the door and back toward the control room. "We have two ships at our disposal, remember, and I can pilot them both. I think we'll take mine so as not to raise any alarms among the enemy. You locked your doors, right?"

Rory followed along helplessly. "Yeah. But, hold on, shouldn't we bring Amy? We can-"

Rose cut him off. "No. We'll come back for her. I'll explain later." She pushed open the door to her TARDIS. "Go on, get in." And before he could protest any more, she was steering them back into the Vortex and then on to 2011 Earth. Cardiff, to be exact.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jack couldn't believe his ears. After stopping Davros' reality bomb, he thought he might never hear that sound again. The Doctor wasn't exactly the best at keeping up with his friends. He stood up from his desk, thinking it was a shame that Martha and Mickey were on vacation this week, but that didn't stop a huge smile from overtaking his face. Now that they'd sorted out his supposed wrongness, surely the Doctor wouldn't stop by Cardiff without saying hello. But just to make sure he didn't forget, Jack would go up to meet him.

Up on the surface, he leaned against the exterior of the Millenium Center and waited for the TARDIS to finish materializing. The blue box became solid, the door swung inward, and a blonde rushed out and tackled him into a hug.

"Jack!" cried his assailant in Rose's voice. "I missed you so much!"

"Rosie?" he cried. "Oh, I can't believe it's you! How've you been?" When she pulled back, he lifted her up and swung her around. "You look amazing."

She beamed up at him. "You do, too, you rascal! I hope you're keeping Torchwood in line out here. How are Martha and Mickey? Are they here?"

"Nah, they're on vacation. Taking a nice little break and leaving me to do all the paperwork." He glanced back at the TARDIS. "Where's the Doctor? Too busy to come out and say hello?"

Rose's face fell.

"Oh, no. Rose, what's happened?"

She grimaced. "He's got himself into some serious trouble this time." She took his hand in one of hers and he squeezed it. "So I came here to find you. We need your help."

"Of course. You know I'd do anything for him." He pulled her into another big bear hug. "No time to waste, then. Let me grab a few things from my office and we'll get going."

When he reemerged from Torchwood Cardiff with his pockets full of machinery and his holsters full of weapons, he found that Rose had decided to wait inside the TARDIS. He shrugged and went to join her.

Stepping into the police box brought back a rush of memories. God, he'd missed this. If only they'd come visit when they weren't in life-threatening danger. Everything looked ever so slightly different from his last few trips, but maybe his memory wasn't what it used to be after a couple hundred years. He looked up to see Rose standing at the console with a small smile on her face.

"So he finally taught you to drive this thing, huh?" he asked. Then he noticed a young man with scruffy blond hair standing a bit behind her. He tilted his chin at the unfamiliar man. "Who's he?"

"Rory Williams," the man answered. He sounded only a little annoyed at being overlooked.

"Captain Jack Harkness."

"He's been traveling with the Doctor for a few years now," Rose explained to Jack before turning her full attention to the console, flicking switches and pushing buttons as adroitly as the Doctor always had.

Jack frowned. "You say that like you weren't there." He studied his friend while she worked, her prolonged silence answer enough. His eyes narrowed. "Where's the other one? The metacrisis?"

Rory just looked confused, but Rose bit her lip and took a deep, shaky breath. She turned away from the console and went to lean against one of the coral columns.

"Rosie?" Jack went to put a hand on her shoulder.

"His name is John," she whispered.

"John Smith?" he asked, thinking of the Doctor's tendency to use that name when posing as a human.

She shook her head. "John Tyler." She reached into her shirt and pulled out a thin chain with a gold wedding band on it. There was a pause while she fought for composure. "He died seven years ago."

"But, Rose, he didn't even exist seven years ago. You haven't been traveling for that long, have you?" Jack felt a knot forming in his stomach. What was going on here?

She tilted her head to meet his gaze. "We didn't stay with the Doctor, Jack. He dropped us off in Pete's World with my mum." She swallowed, but her next words had the tone of an old complaint, hard and bright. "Just left us. Gave us a TARDIS coral - this ship isn't his, it's ours, we grew it - but still. We were on our own. We spent sixty years together, travelin' around our universe, never once so much as heard from him."

Jack's head was spinning. He'd seen how much Rose's loss had affected the Doctor, how happy he'd been to have her back during the fight with Davros. He'd never in a million years have thought that the Doctor would just give her up after all that. And then - Rose had said sixty years. Sixty. She didn't look a day older than the last time he'd seen her. Was she like him now?

He was about to speak when Rose continued more quietly, "It didn't take us long to realize that I wasn't gettin' older. John thought it was somethin' to do with when I absorbed the Time Vortex; started working on a way for me to come back safely once he was gone. He told me I should find you or the Doctor once I got here, cos you would understand..."

Without having to think about it, he threw his arms around her and wrapped her in a hug. "Rose, it's gonna be okay. I know how it feels to lose someone that close, but you're gonna make it through this." He stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. He could feel her shaking against him, but her voice was steady when she spoke.

"It took me a long time to decide that I was ready to see the Doctor again and now that I'm back, he's in danger. I keep thinkin', if only I'd come back sooner... And I know it's stupid, but I can't get it out of my head."

"You'll go crazy, thinking like that," he told her softly. "It sounds to me more like you came back when the Doctor needed you most."

"Thanks, Jack." She gave him one last squeeze before extricating herself and turning back to the console.

They'd both forgotten about the other man, Rory. He stared at them, skepticism written across his features. "I'm sorry, couldn't help but overhear part of that. Did you just say you're sixty years old?" he said to Rose.

She glanced up at him. "More like ninety."

"Are you a Time Lord? Or part-Time Lord?"

"No. I used to be an ordinary human." Her gaze flickered to Jack. "Sort of like him. Travelin' with the Doctor tends to change people."

* * *

With the addition of Jack, Rory suddenly felt outnumbered. Not that he thought they'd be fighting each other any time soon. They had offered to help him - well, help the Doctor - and they seemed like nice enough people. More than a little strange, but who wouldn't be after traveling with the Doctor?

But they clearly knew each other and had a history together, while he was a stranger to both. And they were both not quite human. He felt so out of place that he was tempted to brag about his not-quite-human daughter just to fit in.

That was when he knew he'd lost it.

He walked over to Jack since Rose was busy piloting her TARDIS. "You _used_ to be human?" he asked quietly.

Jack shrugged noncommittally. "Still am."

"She told me you were immortal."

"The man who can never die. That's me."

Not sure what to say to that, Rory changed the subject. "You both traveled with the Doctor."

Jack folded his arms across his chest. "Long time ago, yeah. How old is the Doctor now?"

"Umm. Twelve hundred something." The last time they'd asked, anyway.

The captain raised his eyebrows. "Long time for all of us, then."

Rory pondered that for a second. These people seemed more suited to this life than he and Amy were. The Doctor wouldn't have to watch them grow old and die, or have to worry about losing them in battle. But they'd both left him. "Why'd you leave? You and Rose."

"We didn't exactly have a choice the first time around. The Doctor abandoned me on an empty satellite in the year 200100. Took me over a century to find him again. Rose... She got trapped in a parallel universe. We both came back to help stop the Daleks from activating their reality bomb."

"And what happened then?" Rory prompted when the silence grew too long.

Jack sighed. "I wanted to make sure my team at Torchwood was safe. I thought the Doctor and Rose had gone back to traveling again, but it turns out he dropped Rose back in the parallel universe with her husband. I guess he wanted them to be safe."

"Except then she turned out to be immortal, too. Her husband - he's dead, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Rory found Jack examining him. "You're thinking about leaving, too."

He nodded. "It's been crazy and wonderful and I enjoyed it, but it was always Amy's thing, really. He only brought me along because of her. And now that she's gone, I... I don't think I could do it anymore."

"Amy?" Jack's voice was gentle, as though he'd already guessed.

"My wife."

"I'm sorry."

Rose's voice interrupted them both. "It doesn't have to end now." Her back was to them as she watched the TARDIS's screen, but it didn't look like she was really paying attention to it. "That's the other reason I brought Jack."

The captain frowned. "Rose, what are you talking about? I can't raise people from the dead. You know that."

"Remember when we first met?"

"Yeah, you were hanging from a barrage balloon in the middle of the London Blitz. What does that have to do with anything?"

Rory waited for them to get to the point.

Rose spun around. "The child. Do you remember what the Doctor said? 'Life is easy, just Nature's way of keeping meat fresh.' The nanogenes, Jack. They brought the child back. Couldn't they do the same for Amy?"

Jack was staring at her as though he couldn't decide whether she were brilliant or insane. "It's possible. But where would you even find any? That Chula ambulance was the last of their ships except for mine, and we destroyed both of them!"

Rose grinned. "Okay, this'll be a little dangerous. But I was thinkin' we could take Amy to your ship, when you parked it next to Big Ben. I know, crossing your own timeline and all that, but there was a big chunk of time when you weren't in your ship - you were with me and the Doctor. We stop by really quick while other you is away..."

Jack threw up his hands. "Stop, stop, stop. First of all..." He grinned back at her. "Rose, you are fantastic! Second, we're not going to that time. We'll go to a different day, some time when I was on duty. I want plenty of extra time for us, and I think it would be a little too much for both you and me to cross our timelines like you suggested. We are going to do this properly."

Rose turned to Rory, ignoring the look of shock on his face. "We're going to save Amy."

* * *

The Dream Lord hadn't reappeared since their conversation on the deck of the Valiant. At first the Doctor was glad to be rid of him and his knife-like words, but he quickly realized that without someone else to be angry at, he was angry with himself.

He watched the life bleed from Jenny's body. He'd spent more time cradling her corpse than she had spent alive. She'd been created from him and him alone, and she was dead sooner than a mayfly. Almost stillborn. Was this really all he was good for? Death? Was that his legacy?

Needing some release for the emtions roiling inside him, he smashed his fists against the stone floor and wished the pain was real. He could feel it here, in this nightmare realm, but he wanted shattered bones and spilled blood and the possibility of death.

The stone rumbled beneath his hands, and he looked up to find himself once more on a dying Gallifrey. He almost breathed a sigh of relief. This was easier. Losing his whole planet was somehow easier than losing the daughter he'd only known for a few hours.

Until he heard Susan screaming his name while she died.

He curled in on himself and tried his best to cover his ears.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Rose." Jack's voice was low, meant for her ears only. "What if there's a problem?"

She stared at the console in front of her, stroked a hand across it, and seemed to draw strength from that. Still, her expression wasn't exactly encouraging. "We stop it."

"And if we can't?"

"Then we don't."

That seemed pretty final. "Rose-"

"I've done this before, Jack, crossed my own timeline. Twice, actually."

"So you know what you're doing?"

She snorted. "Hardly. I almost destroyed the world last time. Did everything the Doctor told me not to."

Jack was alarmed. "You aren't convincing me that this is safe, Rose."

"'M not trying to," she murmured, "because it isn't. But it's worth doing all the same. You heard him talking about her. You saw the way he looked at her."

"And you think we should risk the universe to make them happy."

She met his eyes. "Yes."

* * *

Their grim words were forgotten by the time they landed in 1941. Rose swung the door open and gestured grandly. "Here we are!"

Rory stuck his head out for a peek and promptly pulled it back inside and shut the door. "We're floating in the middle of London," he said. "In front of Big Ben's clockface." He sounded flat, even a little resigned.

Jack, on the other hand, was exuberant. "Yep!"

Rory gave him a withering look. "That's where you parked your spaceship."

"Yep!"

"That's where you parked your _invisible_ spaceship."

"First rule of active camo," Jack recited. "Park somewhere you'll remember."

Rose had to stuff her fist in her mouth to stop her giggles. No wonder the Doctor had taken Rory on; his reactions were so perfect. She waited for the two of them to finish their stare-off and then gestured to Jack. "Well, go unlock your ship."

"Your wish is my command." He slipped out with a smile for her. A few minutes later he called for Rory. "Bring Amy out with you," he added.

The blond man obediently scooped up his wife and stepped onto the hull. It took him a while to reach the hatch because he kept sliding his feet out in front and testing his weight before actually moving. Rose was laughing again, mostly because she'd been in his exact position before.

She listened to Jack explain how to activate the nanogenes ("Just snap your fingers." "That's it?"). Then they sent Rory down so that she and Jack could lower Amy into his arms.

They listened to the sounds of Rory's unwanted contact with hard surfaces and his subsequent cursing with much amusement.

"You know," she whispered to Jack, "for something so serious, it sure is great entertainment."

"Don't drop her!" Jack called, winking at Rose.

More cursing. "Why don't _you_ come down here and do it?"

"I don't want the nanogenes to get confused and wind up making your wife an ageless immortal," he replied in a voice so sweetly insincere that Rose wished she could bottle it and pour it over waffles. "Besides, we've got to stay up here and keep watch for the other me. We don't want to run into him."

"You just don't want to do any of the work," Rory groused as they closed the hatch.

A thought struck Rose. "Jack." He looked up. "The nanogenes gave Nancy's son super strength and om-comm abilities when they tried to fix him up the first time. Gettin' 'em fit for battle, the Doctor said. You don't think..."

"That Amy will come back to life stronger than an ox and with the power to call any phone or radio in existence? Nah." With a shrug and a straight face, he added, "Even if she did, it's probably safer than doing this your way."

She scoffed. "Jack Harkness, I can't believe you just said that!"

"No, really. We could take her to the Gamestation, let her get shot by Daleks, have you resurrect her permanently, and then take off while she's still getting back on her feet."

"Ouch."

He gave her his cheekiest grin. "You shoulda been there when I had this conversation with the Doctor. Said he left me there because he was 'busy.'"

She winced. "To be fair, he _had_ just regenerated. Was comatose for most of the Sycorax invasion after that."

"But you two never came back for me. You had a time machine; it's not like you could have missed me."

"I thought you were dead!" she cried, throwing up her hands. "He never told me." She refrained from adding that with the Doctor's driving, they'd have been lucky if they landed in the same century.

"Why would you think I was dead? You were the one that brought me back!"

"And didn't remember any of what I'd done for almost a year. Even then, the only thing that came back was me killin' the Dalek emperor."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. John told me later that he kissed me to take the Vortex out." She scowled at him. "The Doctor kissed me, Jack, and I don't remember a moment of it!"

"Yeah, that's pretty lousy. But at least you got to kiss him."

"Don't sound so put out. You kissed him, too, _and_ you remembered it afterward."

"Kissed both of you. Tell me you haven't forgotten that part."

She grinned. "Of course not."

There was a short lull in the conversation.

Jack leaned into her shoulder, warmth seeping through his clothes. When he spoke, his voice was soft and sweet. "You know that even if I don't always like what happened to me, I've never blamed you for it."

She pushed back against him, a smile coming to her lips. "Thanks, Jack." Then she nudged him again. "But honestly, you should be singin' my praises," she teased. "How many people give their friends immortality for Christmas?"

He laughed. "Good point. I bet Amy will be jealous that Rory didn't do the same."

"And you're sure about that? No funny stuff from the nanogenes?"

"You may have noticed the last time you were here that I configured my ship's nanogenes to repair humans instead of Chula. They know what they're doing. Amy will be completely normal when she comes back." He glanced at the ship's hatch, which they'd had to close to prevent the alarm from going off. "What's taking them so long?"

* * *

When Amy woke up, she wasn't really sure what was going on. The last thing she remembered was Rory screaming her name - and then pain, and then nothing. But here she was, looking up into his smiling face as golden motes of light swirled around them. It was such a beautiful sight that she thought it might be heaven... Until she saw that they were in a spaceship. She was pretty sure there wouldn't be spaceships in heaven.

"Rory?"

"Amy." He ran his fingers down her cheek and his smile widened. "How do you feel?"

She thought about that for a minute. "A bit sore. What happened?"

He winced. "You died. And then I brought you back to life."

She let loose a single incredulous chuckle. "You did what?"

"Well, I had some help."

As if on cue, there was a booming knock from above them and then a strange voice rang out. "You done in there? Did it work?"

"Yeah, it worked," Rory called up.

"Then hurry up and get out of there. No sex on my ship unless I'm invited!"

Her eyebrows rose. "Yeah, some _great_ help you found there."

Rory gave her that look, the one that clearly said he didn't want to talk about it. "Can you stand?"

"Well, put me down so we can find out."


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Sorry for the wait for this chapter. I ended up rewriting it at the last minute, and I also managed to injure my back while working on a jigsaw puzzle because I'm such an amazing specimen of humanity.__  
_

_Notes on terminology: The dapper aliens that make you forget, I've seen them referred to on the Interwebs as Silents - versus the Silence, which is the religious organization out for the Doctor's blood. I liked that distinction, so I'm using it here._

* * *

Chapter 7

Rory hovered at Amy's elbow as they made their way across the hull of Jack's stupid invisible ship. He wanted to stay close so he could catch her if she stumbled or grip her hand in reassurance if she needed it. But Amy, of course, was fine. Being dead for three weeks didn't seem to have slowed her down at all, and she took the invisible spaceship in stride.

She did, however, stop when she noticed the pair of strangers waiting at the door of the TARDIS. "You must be the help," she said calmly, waiting expectantly for introductions.

Jack held out his hand and flashed Amy the most charming smile he'd ever seen. "Captain Jack Harkness, and it's my _pleasure_ to finally meet you, Amy." Amy happily let herself be charmed, her eyes sparkling as Jack lifted her hand to his mouth for a kiss.

Still, Rory couldn't help but wince when Rose elbowed her friend. "Not the time," he heard her mutter.

Amy shifted her attention to Rose. Rory tried looking at her with fresh eyes, imagining how his wife might see the unassuming blonde woman in her simple jeans and trainers, never having seen her surrounded by power made visible. He failed miserably - how could you pretend you hadn't seen something like that? - but Amy didn't seem to notice anything odd. She simply extended her hand to Rose with a tilt of her head. "And you are...?"

"Rose," the other woman answered, shaking Amy's hand. "Rose Tyler."

Then Amy pushed past them both into the TARDIS, saying, "Now where's the Doctor got to?" But she was transfixed upon entering the ship. Rory watched her carefully. "What happened to the TARDIS?" she murmured. "I thought House deleted this room."

Rory walked in after her, trying to think of a way to explain it to her when he didn't even know the whole story. Before he could find the words, the sounds of the dematerialization sequence cut him off.

Amy laughed and turned back to the console. "Doctor, where were you h-" The words died on her tongue when she saw Rose at the helm. She marched up to the blonde woman and glared down at her. "If you're not the Doctor, then how can you fly his ship? _What have you done with him?_"

Rose's expression had grown resigned. "Rory, I thought you were going to explain it to her." _So I wouldn't have to_ was the unspoken but very clear end of that sentence.

Rory sighed, and reminded himself that this woman had brought Amy back to him. He had to trust her now, didn't he? He didn't like admitting, even to himself, that part of him just wanted to go back to 2011 Leadworth with his wife. He almost wouldn't mind leaving the Doctor to his fate if it meant that Amy was alive and safe. Almost.

"Amy," he said instead, "Rose and Jack haven't done anything with the Doctor. They're here to help us rescue him from the Silence."

* * *

After sorting everything out, the four companions had skedaddled back to Rose's TARDIS to leave 1941 before they messed anything up. Especially since it turned out the Doctor had also taken Amy to London during the Blitz. It was all a great big mess and if any of them stirred it the wrong way, they probably wouldn't have to worry about saving the Doctor because they'd be too busy fighting off Reapers.

Rose had quickly taken them out of the city and back into the Vortex, where they would be waiting and planning. They wanted to make sure Amy wouldn't suffer any complications in the middle of their rescue, and the rescue itself was still little more than an idea. It needed to be a full-fledged plan. That was the reason they were all sitting around the coffee table in Rose's study.

Tension crackled in the air between them. Rose was nervous around the two new companions. Amy was still suspicious of her - Rory had explained what he knew, but his answers didn't seem to sit well with his wife. Jack had been careful with her secrets so far, but Rose couldn't help but worry he'd let something slip.

From his seat beside her, he snagged a cookie and bit into it. He nodded to Amy and, mouth still full, said, "Go on. Ask away. I'm sure you've got questions."

They had already filled Amy in on the events between her death and resurrection, but they'd left out most of the details. And she didn't really know who Rose and Jack were beyond their rushed introductions as they'd left London.

"Shouldn't we be going back for the Doctor now?"

Rose shook her head. "Going back now would only be wasting time. If we do all our plannin' and stuff here, we can go back to right after we left. If we go back now, we'll be spending days in that timeline, leaving the Doctor in trouble longer."

"Right. Okay. Good answer." Amy crossed her legs and turned to Jack. "What are you captain of, anyway?"

"Torchwood Cardiff, most recently." He quirked his eyebrow and gave her a cocky grin. "Is that really the most pressing question you could think of?"

Amy ignored his blatant attempt at flirting with a wave of her hand. "Rose says we've got as much time as we need. Might as well ask all my questions. And Rory says you're immortal. Human, but immortal. How?"

Rose tensed, and she knew Jack had noticed it. "What, you wanna steal my secret? Sorry, you'll have to ask the Doctor. He's the only one who remembers how it happened."

She smothered her sigh of relief. Trust Jack to watch out for her. She'd have to remember to thank him later.

But Amy turned to grill her next. "And you." She stared at the blonde woman. "You can pilot the TARDIS. How?"

Rose met her gaze steadily. "Long story." Her clipped words and polite smile indicated that the subject was closed.

The younger woman sat back at such a clear rebuff. "Well, so much for getting questions answered," she muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Rose was certain that had been her intention. With a huff, she tried again. "Rory told me you're ninety years old. Are you immortal, too?"

Rose's smile softened. This time she could answer honestly. "I dunno." She could practically feel Jack's gaze on her, but she ignored it. They could have this conversation later, away from nosey youngsters.

"Are you human?"

"I used to be. Probably not anymore."

"But you don't know."

"No. Is that a problem?"

Amy shrugged. "Just wondering."

"I've got a question for everyone," Jack said, drawing Amy's attention away from Rose. "How much experience do you have in combat?"

"You can answer first," Amy told him, "seeing as it's your question."

He grinned. "I've worked for the Royal Air Force, the Time Agency, and Torchwood. I fought Daleks on Satellite Five, I fought them here on Earth, I fought them in the heart of their own bomb. I'd say I've got more experience in combat than the rest of you combined."

Rory shrugged. "I fought in the Roman legions, plus all the traveling with the Doctor. And I went to war at Demons Run."

Amy smiled at her husband and took his hand in hers before answering. "All of my fighting experience is in a future that never happened, and it was kind of specialized anyway. But I _am_ great at improvising." She turned to Rose. "What about you?"

Rose was a little unsure of how to respond. Did her experience count if she couldn't repeat her actions? "I... fought the Daleks on Satellite Five with Jack and the Doctor," she said, settling for somewhere in the middle. "And I fought them again at Canary Wharf and the day the Earth was stolen. I worked as a field agent for Torchwood in Pete's World, so I know how to use a gun." _That_ experience was real, the memories accessible, and the muscles trained. "Got a bunch of 'em on my TARDIS, actually. We kept 'em around in case of emergencies."

"Your husband got over his issues with guns?" Jack asked curiously, though he chose his words to protect her.

Her hand twitched in an ambivalent gesture. "Born in battle, remember? We never had to use 'em, but he liked to say that we'd gotten a second chance together and he didn't want it cut short by either one of us gettin' killed." Then she noticed Amy listening intently to their little interlude, and she fell silent.

Jack reached over to squeeze her shoulder before picking up the main thread of the conversation. "All right, so we've got three experienced fighters, one of whom can't be killed, and we know that Amy will be an asset rather than a liability. Our wildcard. Rory, Amy, what are we up against?"

"The Silence," Amy replied immediately. "A religious order. As far as we can figure out, their purpose is to kill the Doctor, because they think he'll cause the end of the universe."

Jack snorted. "Sweet of them, but I've been there and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary."

"What, you've been to the end of the universe?"

"Yep. The year 100 trillion."

"Okay, then. Anyways, that's just what the Silence thinks. But we know that time can be rewritten and unwritten, so maybe they have a point. Not that we'd let them kill the Doctor."

"Except that they did," Rory said. "April 22, 2011, at 5:02 pm in Lake Silencio, Utah. But the Doctor tricked them, made them think that they'd killed him when really it was just a - what did he call it? - a Doctor suit. And the Doctor's been erasing any mention of himself from systems all over the place since then. We thought we were done with the Silence. I suppose it was too good to last."

A sudden moment of heartache struck Rose. _Too good to last._ It seemed that was always the case. Especially now. She had only just found him again - hadn't even had a chance to say hello - and he was snatched from her fingers once again. "If their only goal is to kill the Doctor," she began slowly, "then what reason do we have to believe he's still alive right now?"

Jack's gaze snapped around to meet hers. "Don't say that, Rose. If there's any chance that he's still alive, now matter how small, we've got to take it." His words, she knew, were as much for his benefit as hers. They were both still in love with the Doctor.

Amy's words brought them back to the present company. "He's alive because he's with Madame Kovarian." Her eyes matched her voice, hard and cold. She hated this woman. "She's an awful person, horribly cruel. If she's got her hands on him, you can bet she'll be torturing him or trying to use him for some twisted experiment. She won't just kill him straight off, she'll want to rub it in his face that he lost."

Rory began rubbing his wife's back. "Amy..."

"But I don't think there were any Silents out there," she continued. She rolled up both her sleeves as if checking for something and then rolled them back down, seemingly satisfied. "None that I saw, anyways."

"Me neither," Rory echoed, looking down at his mostly bare arms. "Not a single mark."

"I wonder why?"

Rose cut in. "Sorry, what? I don't understand."

Rory quickly described a race of aliens that could erase themselves from humans' memories, and his and Amy's system of tally marks drawn on skin. Gesturing at Amy's forearms, though they were once again covered by her sleeves, he explained, "Nothing. No Silents."

"We can't assume that there won't be any when we go in," Jack reminded them. "Just in case. But so far we've got a Madame Kovarian and probably no Silents. Who else? She isn't doing this on her own."

"Headless Monks," Amy answered. "They wear black robes with their hoods pulled all the way up, but there's no head underneath."

Jack groaned. "And the Order of the Headless means these guys've got the strength of the Church behind them."

Rory nodded. "The Anglican branch, I think. Hold up, how do you know about the Church?"

"I was born in the 51st century. The Church is old hat." He turned to look at Rose. "Do you need to be filled in? If not, we can skip the description."

Rose shook her head. "John's mentioned them to me before. I think I'll be fine."

"Excellent." Jack turned back to Amy and Rory. "Anything else?"

Rory glanced at Amy before shaking his head. "That's it. So we can get started planning now?"

"Not quite. I wanna know what happened when the Doctor was captured. And you were the last one to see him, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah." A sigh escaped as he slumped in his seat. "We were supposed to be on vacation. Somewhere fun and not dangerous. Only we got pulled off course. He insisted on going out to investigate."

"Let me guess," Jack interrupted. "They waited until they could cut you off from the TARDIS before revealing themselves."

Amy nodded. "It went bad pretty fast from there. We didn't have anything to use against them. The Doctor only had his screwdriver. River always has a blaster on her, but she wasn't with us."

"And River is...?"

"Our daughter." Noticing a skeptical look from Jack, she stuck her chin out. "Yeah, we've got our secrets, too. Thanks to the Silence, our daughter is older than we are. But this time it was just the three of us - me, Rory, and the Doctor."

Rory took up the narrative. "It was chaotic. We were trying to get back to the TARDIS, but they cut us off. The Doctor tried to stay between us and them since he can regenerate. We didn't make it. One of the Headless Monks blasted Amy. That was when the Doctor lost it.

"He started roaring and shouting, like he wasn't properly sane. I think they were afraid of him. They stopped shooting and just stood there watching him. I grabbed Amy and started carrying her back to the TARDIS, but then the clerics noticed and they started shooting again. I barely made it back safely with Amy, and I could still hear the Doctor screaming at them when I closed the door.

"Once Amy was inside, I grabbed my sword and tried to go back out to find the Doctor, but they had the TARDIS surrounded. I wouldn't have made it out the door in one piece, so I waited three weeks for the Doctor to come back. He never showed up. And that was when you arrived." He indicated Rose with a nod of his head.

Rose turned to Jack, who looked as grim as she'd ever seen him. "What's the plan?"

"Well, the Silence brought you to them instead of going to you. That's a pretty good indication that their current base of operations is on whatever planet you landed on. Probably pretty close to the Doctor's TARDIS. Rory, Amy, did you notice any buildings when you went outside?"

Amy shook her head. "No, but the Silence sort of popped up from the ground."

"I can do a scan of the surrounding area once we get back," Rose said. "Look for structures underneath the surface of the planet. If we can get a look at the inside of their base, we can plan around that. And my TARDIS should be able to locate the Doctor if he's close enough." Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Amy stiffen. Apparently Rory hadn't explained about that yet.

"I'll take us into their base," she continued undaunted, "so we don't have to worry about the guards around his TARDIS. We can use perception filters to make our way through the base unnoticed. There's a chance that we may be discovered anyway, so we'll need to be prepared for combat, too. Once we find the Doctor, we have to get him back to my TARDIS as quickly and quietly as possible, and then I'll take us back to his TARDIS. Jack-"

"No need to ask, Rosie. I'll take point. Everyone, if we enter combat, get behind me."

"They may try to attack the Doctor's TARDIS once they realize that he's escapin'. Jack, if you can find that waveform extrapolator we took from Blon, I want you to hook it up to the TARDIS again. We'll want to have that force field active in case of emergency."

"But won't that prevent you from materializing inside the TARDIS on the way back?"

"No. His TARDIS will welcome mine. They're like sisters."

"Oh. Then sure."

"Is that it, then?" Amy asked. "Are we done planning?"

Jack sighed. "For today. Not much else to do until we get those scans done. But one last thing. Just in case he's changed his face on us again. What does the Doctor look like now?"

Rose made a face at him. "Honey," she said aloud, "establish a connection. Find me a current image of the Doctor. Pick the one with the highest resolution and display it here."

Amy bounced excitedly. "Your TARDIS takes voice commands? Can she speak?"

"Only from me and only to me, but telepathically. Even J - even the Doctor can't do it." She looked away from the curious young woman to find Jack studying her. Stretching her mind a little, she left a single word in his head: _Later._

His gaze snapped up to meet hers, but he said nothing. His look of shock quickly gave way to a small grin.

Before Amy could fire another round of questions at Rose, the TARDIS gave a small burble and a life-sized hologram appeared in the center of the room, just to one side of the coffee table.

"Yep, that's him," Amy murmured.

Rose burst out laughing.

It wasn't long before all eyes were on her. "I know his wardrobe choice is questionable," Jack said, "but he doesn't look _that_ bad."

"I know him," she sputtered once she caught her breath. "I've seen him before. He - he was my maths tutor when I was fifteen. The _Doctor_ was my maths tutor before I ever knew him." She collapsed into giggles again.

Jack gave her a half-smile. "I guess I wasn't the only one who went back to visit you before you knew me." His elbow nudged her. "We both missed you."

Rose felt it better not to respond to her friend's remarks. With those words, Jack had managed to turn her from laughter to the edge of tears. Right now she needed to focus on getting the Doctor back, and she couldn't do that if she wound up sobbing at the sight of his face.

It was ridiculous that he could still do this to her. "TARDIS," she said, "end display."

Amy pounced on her again. "Who exactly are you? Why are you helping us?"

Rose felt Jack bristling at her side. She understood Amy's suspicion-or was it jealousy?-but even if she'd wanted to talk about this with a stranger, what would she say?

With a sigh, she stood. "I'm going to make some tea. Make yourselves at home."

* * *

Rose in the kitchen when Amy cornered her. "Hello again." She forced her voice to be as pleasant as possible. She'd known this would happen sooner or later.

"Rose."

"Did you want a cuppa tea?" Rose proffered the kettle.

"I want answers." Amy stepped into her personal bubble, her voice hard. "And you're going to give them to me."

Rather than intimidating her, the redhead's outburst awakened Rose's sense of outrage. "Look, I get it, you don't like me or trust me, but I don't owe you anything. Least of all answers."

But Amy didn't back off. If anything, Rose's anger only made her more determined. "That's right, I don't trust you. Nothing about you adds up! So you're going to answer my questions or - "

"Or what?" Rose broke in, squaring her shoulders. "You can't stop me; this is my ship. I don't need your help to rescue the Doctor. And my relationship with him is none of your business!"

Amy scoffed. "At least you're consistent. But how can _you_ possibly have a TARDIS? The Doctor's is the only one left."

That was the last straw. Knowing she was being goaded into answering but not caring enough to stop, Rose set her cup down on the counter. She was tired of being poked and prodded at. "The Doctor _gave_ me this TARDIS," she bit out. "Me and my husband. She was grown from a piece of the Doctor's own."

"You expect me to believe he just gave you a TARDIS," Amy said, flat.

"I expect you to at least pretend to. It's what happened, after all."

"But he wouldn't just... He _can't_ have-" Amy disguised the crack in her voice well, but she couldn't hide the growing desperation in her words. "Why would he do that? Why wouldn't you just keep traveling with him?"

Rose suddenly found herself wondering if he'd tried to leave Amy behind too. Her anger softened a bit. "I would have if he'd let me," she answered without meaning to.

The redhead studied her silently for a few long minutes. "What are you to the Doctor?" she asked finally.

Unsure of the answer herself, Rose settled on something she'd heard from John. "He says my name keeps him fighting. If you want to know more, ask him yourself." She left the kitchen.

* * *

Rose was unsettled by her borderline fight with Amy, so she sought out her workshop for a project to focus her mind. It was a few hours before anyone tracked her down, and Rose was surprised to find that it was Rory and not Jack. "What did you need?" she called from her workbench, not looking up. Building perception filters wasn't difficult, but it demanded attention.

He shuffled about for a few minutes before presumably finding somewhere to stand comfortably. "I wanted to, ah... When we were all talking in the study. Amy wasn't trying to be rude. It's just... she's known the Doctor for a long time. Since she was seven years old. He trusts her a lot. But she'd never even heard your name before. She doesn't know what to think-"

"It's fine." Rose put down her soldering iron and turned to face the younger man. "I've been on the other end of it before. I know what it's like, and why she wants to interrogate me."

Her gaze fell to her feet momentarily. "But a lot of what she's asking about is very personal. I don't want to talk about those things with someone I barely know." She looked up again. "And I'm not tryin' to steal the Doctor away from you two. As long as she remembers those things, we'll be fine."

Rory nodded awkwardly. "Thanks."

Rose turned back to her workbench as he left.

It wasn't another hour before Jack walked in and took a seat beside her.

"How're the filters coming?" he asked.

"I'm workin' on the second one now," she said. She set up the soldering iron once again and handed Jack the finished one. "Go ahead and try this."

He slipped the chain around his neck and Rose's eyes and attention slid immediately away from him.

"Yeah, that works." She held out her hand for the necklace and Jack gave it back. "You have one already, don't you? John mentioned it a couple times."

He nodded. "From when we were hiding from the Master. But you should make one for the Doctor. For our escape. He used to have one, too, but I've no idea where it is."

"Yeah, I was plannin' to." She shifted in her seat and felt a grin overtake her face. "So what are you really here for, Jack Harkness? You didn't come just to tell me that."

His answering grin warmed her to the core. The best of friends. "You promised me some information, sweetheart, and I came to collect. So, what's the story behind your telepathic connection to the TARDIS?"

She leaned forward conspiratorially, happy to be able to share this with someone who would understand. "I didn't find out about it until after we grew this one, but John thinks that I used the connection to get back to the Doctor with the dimension cannon, like maybe I was trackin' the TARDIS. And it might have somethin' to do with me lookin' the same after all these years. Remember when Rory asked if I was part-Time Lord?" Taking a deep breath, she continued, "John thinks I'm part-TARDIS."

"You're _what?_"

"Think about it. I don't remember anything that happened when I went back to Satellite Five, and you were dead at that point. But I opened the TARDIS and looked into its heart-absorbed it. I know the Doctor told you about that. D'you see it?"

He stared. "You absorbed it, and then-what, fused with it?"

She shrugged. "We're not really sure. It's never happened before that we knew of. Maybe we fused, maybe it changed me, maybe somethin' else entirely. But as far as we can tell, I'm not in any danger. I'm stable now."

"Rose Tyler, you are something else." He pulled her into a hug, laughing to himself. "Literally."

She snorted. "_You_ can talk."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Amy was the last one out of bed the next day, but she happily placed the blame for that on her husband since he was the one who'd kept her up. Still, he was gone by the time she woke, so she had to track him down.

She found him in the kitchen, searching the cupboards for muffins and absently conversing with the other two members of their group. Jack and Rose were leaning over a hologram that claimed most of the table space.

Amy plopped into the nearest empty chair. "I take it this is the result of your subsurface scans?" she asked with a lazy wave toward the hologram.

Rose nodded but was apparently unable to tear her eyes away from the schema. "Made the trip early this morning. Had Jack hook up the extrapolator while we were there."

"There's not much detail."

"The structure is heavily shielded," the blonde woman explained. Then she snorted. "Though I dunno why they bothered. The Doctor never so much as checks if the atmosphere is breathable before leavin' the TARDIS."

"Maybe to keep anyone else from finding him once they'd caught him? He's clearly not showing up on your scans even though we're pretty certain he's in there."

Jack scraped a hand across his chin. "That interpretation would suggest he's still alive. If they killed him right away, they wouldn't need to hide him." He cocked his head, a frown darkening his features. "But Amy, they were obviously hoping to kill you and Rory. Who else would they expect to come looking for him?"

"River would come," she answered without hesitation. She tried to ignore the ache in her chest. "They knew she would come and she would stop them."

"Then, if you don't mind my asking... why isn't she here now?"

"Because she's dead."

"I'm sorry." Instead of backpedaling frantically, the captain's tone conveyed a sort of grim comfort. He had done this before, she realized - lost people. But then, if he was as old as Rory seemed to think, that wasn't surprising.

Rose tried to hide her reaction, but Amy noticed her wince. "Your daughter? Your daughter is River... Song?"

Rory tripped and slammed his hand in a cupboard. Loud cursing erupted, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen. It was answer enough.

Amy cleared her head with a shake. Gesturing to the hologram, she tried to find her balance again. "So. We have no real idea what the inside looks like or where the Doctor is. What's our plan?"

There was that awkward pause while the conversation kicked back into gear, but Rose and Jack seemed to know how to behave in this situation. Rory had abandoned his muffin to find some ice for his fingers. She'd take what she could get.

"I think we can safely assume that the structure is separated into floors," Jack was saying. "Hard to tell how many there might be, though."

"Can you deduce me some information about where they might be keepin' the Doctor?" Rose asked, with a nudge and a grin for her friend. "Give us some idea of where to start?"

"We should start at the bottom," Amy said confidently. When they gave her questioning glances, she continued. "Least expected. Dungeons are usually in the lowest floors. And it means we have escape routes in both directions."

Jack looked her over approvingly. "Beauty _and_ brains. Amy, if your husband ever leaves you wanting more..."

She preened a little at that. Then, because Rory was there, she snatched him down for a quick peck. When she let him go, she noticed Jack had gone back to the hologram, but Rose was watching them with a wistful smile.

* * *

Amy decided that she might as well keep up her straight from yesterday, so she cornered Rose in her kitchen again that afternoon. The other woman looked her over warily before murmuring a greeting. Amy plunged ahead unheeding.

"I know, when we go in tomorrow, we're supposed to be sneaking. Stealthy. But I also know we aren't relying on the perception filters to keep us out of trouble." She squared her shoulders. "You said you've got guns. I want one."

Rose shifted uncomfortably, but this was obviously not the direction she'd expected their conversation to go. "You know the Doctor won't like it." The way she said the words, it was less like an excuse and more like an obligatory warning.

"I don't care," Amy replied firmly. And it was mostly the truth.

Rose nodded as if she was expecting that answer. "Then what kind do you want? A stun gun?"

Amy narrowed her eyes. "I want something lethal."

A raised eyebrow.

"I'm sick of the Silence messing with us," she hissed. "The Doctor refuses to hurt them, and they keep finding us. If killing them is what it takes to keep my family safe, then that's what I'll do."

"Is this about Madame Kovarian?"

Amy felt her jaw clench. A deep, uncontrollable rage unfurled in her chest, demanding blood. She had to shove it down before she was able to speak. "That woman took my baby from me. I want her dead."

They stood there for a long time, Rose's eyes boring into her own. Searching for something, maybe, assessing her. Amy didn't care.

When Rose finally opened her mouth, she looked old and tired. "This way."

* * *

Rose landed her ship silently on the lowest level of the Silence's base. Their shields were good, but not nearly strong enough to keep a TARDIS out. And once she was inside, she was able to circumvent most of their disruption fields.

"The Doctor's a couple floors up," she announced, her eyes on the small screen. "But it looks like he's heavily guarded. Lots of life signs clustered around him. I think our best bet is to leave the TARDIS down here so we don't draw attention to ourselves."

"You sure about that?" asked Jack. "You can land it with no noise and you have a working chameleon circuit. I don't see the risk."

"Except," Rory said, gravitating toward the doors, "the Silence is apparently capable of tracking and diverting a TARDIS in flight. We'll be lucky if they haven't noticed us so far - moving around within their own base is out of the question."

"Okay, point conceded." He ushered everyone away from the console. "Then we have to stick to the perception filters." At his gesture, they all slipped the chains around their necks.

"They're all connected on the same frequency," Rose told them, "so we'll be able to see each other."

Jack nodded and resumed his instructions. "But remember, keep your speech to a minimum. Keep your movements slow and smooth. Stay close to the walls and out of people's way. The perception filter will keep others from noticing you, but it won't work if you draw attention to yourself. We good?"

Rose nodded, with one last glance at the screen. "The hall is clear right now. Let's go."

* * *

They made it up to the Doctor's floor without incident. The hallways were remarkably free of soldiers, especially on his floor. Rose could tell Jack was getting uneasy, and she couldn't blame him. It felt like a trap.

But there was no choice. They had to keep going. As Jack had said, if there was any chance they could save the Doctor, they had to take it. So they walked calmly down the empty corridors, sticking to the outside walls and sneaking glances into the rooms across the way.

They appeared to be in a hospital wing. Most of the rooms on this floor had medical equipment or white-coated staff. They bustled around, unaware of the invasion. Rose was starting to wonder if maybe she'd misread the second scan when she felt someone tug on her leather jacket. Glancing back, she saw Amy gesturing for her to stop. She quickly grabbed Jack's sleeve to pass the message on.

"Listen," Amy whispered, her voice barely disturbing the silence of the empty hall.

Except that it wasn't silent. There, so faint she wasn't sure it was real - a distant roaring, or a hiss. The sound gas might make as it escaped from a pipe. Difficult to tell how far it might be.

"Which way?"

Amy pointed.

Jack adjusted their path, and they continued.

* * *

The sound was growing steadily louder, and they were able to follow it easily now. Rose felt a knot tightening in the pit of her stomach, and each step only made it worse. When she looked back at Amy and Rory, she could see they felt it, too. They were listening to someone screaming.

Based on what she knew of the Silence and this Madame Kovarian, she could only assume it was the Doctor. But he had never sounded like this. He was always in control, always steady. Even when everything seemed hopeless, he radiated strength. This - this wasn't even words, it was just pain given voice.

Rose had to stuff those thoughts to the back of her mind if she was going to make it through this. She concentrated on checking the narrow windows of the doors they passed, but there were no people in them. Maybe the wailing disturbed the clerics too, she thought bitterly.

She nearly stumbled into Jack when he stopped suddenly. Then he stepped aside and motioned her forward.

"At the back of the room. Is that him?"

She didn't have to look twice. "Yeah."

"No staff, just patients."

"Then let's go."

They all scrambled into the hospital-style room while Jack stood watch outside. When everyone else was in, he followed them through and closed the door. Without waiting for a word from Rose, he walked over to the nearest terminal and started interfacing with the security system. The rest of them walked over to the Doctor's bed, Rory leading the way.

Rose watched him, her heart in her throat. It was painful to listen to his hoarse keening and see his fingers clenching and muscles straining. He was strapped down to the bed - straps at his wrists, at his elbows, across his chest and forehead, even his neck. She could see where his skin had been rubbed raw underneath the velcro, and now that she looked closer, she saw that the bed was thickly padded to prevent further injury.

But it was him. No doubts now. Though he was pallid and almost gaunt, a far cry from the boyishly handsome man her TARDIS had shown her, there was no mistaking his features. That chin, that hair. She'd finally found him.

"Doctor," Amy whispered beside her, leaning hesitantly forward. "Doctor, it's us."

Rose noticed that Rory was examining the multiple screens at his bedside. Medical readouts, she realized, displaying everything from blood pressure to brain activity. "What's wrong with him?" she asked softly. "I can't see anything even touching him except for the straps."

Rory glanced from the Doctor to the screens and back again. "He's asleep. I don't think they're doing anything to him. Most of his readings are normal - for a Time Lord, anyways." Swiveling slowly, he read the screens next to the other patients. "They're all just sleeping."

"What?" hissed Amy. "He doesn't usually do this when he sleeps."

Her husband shook his head in confusion. "I don't know what's going on. It looks like they've been asleep for a long time." He leaned closer to the Doctor's readouts. "Weeks, even."

"Is this a nightmare, then?"

Rose frowned. She'd seen the Doctor in the grip of nightmares and it wasn't this bad. "Why's he been asleep so long? He doesn't need more than a couple hours a night, if that. Did they sedate him?"

"If they did, it wasn't recently. There's nothing in his system."

She heard Jack's footsteps behind her before he spoke. "What's wrong with him?"

"We don't know," she told him. "Rory says everyone in this room is asleep and has been for weeks, but there doesn't seem to be anything keeping them that way."

Rory floundered. "I'm just gonna check his pulse," he said, reaching for the Doctor's wrist. "Make sure the machines-"

He crumpled.

Jack caught him before he hit the floor and then lowered him down gently as Amy leaned over him.

"What the hell was that?" He exhaled forcefully. "I'm gonna guess that this is what happened to everyone else in the room. They touched him and dropped. I'm making an executive decision: nobody touches him. Rory either, just in case."

Rose listened without really hearing his words. There was something about Rory's touch on the Doctor's skin that niggled at the back of her mind. Something important, something she... recognized. The moment he lost consciousness, she had seen a flash of light. Nobody else noticed it. Was it real, or just a trick of her mind?

Maybe it was neither. Not a trick. But not a physical spark. Her feet drew her closer to the bed. She was moving without conscious thought, but under her own will nonetheless. Her fingers stretched out toward the familiar form below her.

She heard Jack's voice as though from a great distance.

"Rose, no!"

* * *

Jack nearly howled in frustration as he saw Rose's body fall limp across the Doctor's bed. But then he found himself staring - the golden wisps of light now leaking out of her skin, her hair, were mesmerizing. He felt not just out of his depth of knowledge, but as though he were staring down into an abyss he couldn't measure. Had she looked like this when she gave him new life?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Amy, too, was staring. "What do we do now?" she asked, not taking her eyes off Rose.

"I don't know. I was going to suggest that we wrap them up and you two carry Rory and I carry the Doctor, but you and I obviously can't carry all three of them at once. And I don't want to move Rose while she's like this." He shrugged. "I guess we wait."

"Maybe they'll be able to fix it from the inside."

"The inside of what?"

"I don't know."

* * *

_A/N: In case anyone's confused, River has already gone to the Library even though Amy and Rory are still with the Doctor. Obviously, this means TATM never happened. In fact, the only S7 episode that has happened in this fic is Dinosaurs on a Spaceship. More will be revealed as the story progresses.  
_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The first thing Rory saw was Amy's hair framing her bloodless, fearful face as blood pooled on the forest floor beneath her. The terrible fear that gripped his heart was difficult to shake off, but eventually he found the presence of mind to remind himself that Amy was not dying alone in a forest. And there hadn't been any blood when the headless monk had blasted her, anyway.

But looking back at the trembling body and the hand reaching out for him, it was harder to remain certain of those things. So he started chanting in his head: _Amy is alive, she is safe. Amy is safe. Amy is safe._

That didn't stop him from kneeling down, grabbing this Amy's hand, and pulling her head onto his lap. He tried to be strong for her, to not cry as she stared wide-eyed up at him and whispered his name. Instead, he clutched her hand tighter and whispered words of comfort back. Even a fake Amy shouldn't have to die alone.

When the last breath had left her body, he closed her eyes and stood. There were no clerics, no monks, no Doctor. Not even a TARDIS. They were alone. _He_ was alone.

Now that his emotions were coming off overdrive, his brain took over again. He knew the real Amy was alive and they were both in a Silence base trying to rescue the Doctor. They were accompanied by two of the Doctor's previous companions. What he was seeing wasn't real.

Which raised the question: what was he seeing? It was almost a memory but not quite. Like a worst-case scenario constructed from that memory. And presumably all of this was connected somehow to the Doctor's condition - asleep - and perhaps that of the other patients in the room. Maybe he was sleeping now, too.

Sleeping...

And then this would be a nightmare. He never had nightmares. Nothing he had seen in all his travels - not even Amy's death - had changed that. So why now?

Sleep, nightmares, the Doctor... There had to be a clue.

Rory was fairly certain that the Doctor couldn't normally put people to sleep like that. Mostly because if he could, he would have some explaining to do about why he hadn't ever used that ability when they were in danger before. What had he done, anyways? He was... he was going to check the Doctor's pulse. That sounded right. He'd grabbed the nearest wrist.

_Sleep, nightmares, and the Doctor._

Then he'd opened his eyes in this place, with Amy. The real world was gone, replaced by this too-real forest and a nightmare.

"Oh my god," he muttered. "Not again."

Because that would mean some sort of test, or a choice. And if he wanted out, he'd have to cut the strings and there were no time machines with self-destruct buttons anywhere nearby.

Trying not to resent the Doctor too much, Rory began scouring the area for a weapon with which to kill himself.

* * *

Rose stood in the center of a blast crater as deep as she was tall. The earth was in ruins under her feet, chunks of rock sprouting deep violet vegetation. She climbed to the edge of the crater and pulled herself up only to find worse devastation there. Fireballs erupted as pockets of gas escaped from the cracked earth. The landscape was ablaze before her eyes, flame catching in the branches of trees and consuming the silver-gray leaves that hung there.

The heat and fragments of rock stung her face, but she pushed forward. She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't want to stay here. She was about to crest a low hill when the air around her convulsed. A moment of pressure and the barren plains were gone.

Where was she now? She was surrounded by walls of metal, cold and dark and empty. She was alone again, but it felt worse this time. More ominous. Looking up, she saw familiar numbers on the wall high above her head. _139_, they said. Squinting up ahead, she found the distinctive silhouette of the lift.

This was Satellite Five. But what was she doing here?

She told herself it was just a memory, but she couldn't quite believe it. And even if it was just a memory, she could see the Doctor's face - the face he had worn when they first met - one last time.

He'd be on floor 500 if he was anywhere. That was where they had gone, both times. Rose dashed for the lift and mashed the button.

* * *

Rory glared at Solomon's robots as they shot his dad in the leg and then the chest. He couldn't help a twinge of panic even though by now he knew it wasn't real. And, even though his escape attempt hadn't worked, he was pretty sure he knew what was going on.

"Dream Lord!" he shouted, frustration overwhelming his good sense, while the two robots stared at him. "I know this isn't real, so stop it. Show your face, you rotten-"

He stumbled as the ground shifted beneath him. When he glanced at his surroundings, he realized he'd moved again. But where was he this time? He'd never seen a room quite this white except for Amy's cell on Demons Run, and he knew without a doubt that this was not Demons Run. It was silent except for a muffled rasping sound, like heavy breathing.

"Hello," said a cheerful voice from behind him.

Rory spun around to face the Dream Lord. "You. Whatever's going on here, I want you to stop it."

"You?" the portly man echoed. "Is that how you all greet old friends? Very rude, you know."

Rory didn't even have to think. "The Doctor. Where is he? What have you done with him?"

The Dream Lord's face hardened into a scowl. "Loyal to the last. Even now that Amy's gone? Are you hoping that he'll find some way to save her?"

"What?" He groaned. The last thing he needed right now was a guilt trip, though he counted himself lucky that particular barb had fallen flat. "I don't want to play your stupid games. Just take me to the Doctor."

"I don't know why you'd want to see that idiot. What good has he ever done you, really? And, frankly, he's a mess right now..." The Dream Lord stepped smoothly to the side, revealing a figure on the ground behind him.

It was an awful sight. There he was, on the floor, collapsed into a tiny heap, knees clutched to his chest. Tear tracks ran from his tightly screwed eyes down to his chin. The quiet sound Rory had noticed earlier was the Doctor's breathless sobbing.

"Are you sure you still want him?" the Dream Lord asked, voice colored with distaste.

Rory wanted to be angry. He _was_ angry. He was also sick and scared and concerned and a little repulsed. Out of all the people he had ever known, the Doctor was the last - the very last - he'd expect to see like this. He knelt down and put a hand on his friend's elbow.

"Doctor? Doctor, are you all right?"

His grey eyes fluttered open and he had to focus on the person in front of him before recognition sparked. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he rasped. "I couldn't save her, Rory. Believe me, I would give anything to bring her back."

"Liar," snarled the Dream Lord.

The Doctor flinched, as though expecting a blow.

The older man leaned over his prey. "You wouldn't give up Koschei for her. You wouldn't give up Susan or the TARDIS. You didn't love Amy enough to protect her. That's why she died."

"Stop." The Doctor was practically whimpering now.

Rory watched in a horrified trance as the two interacted. The Dream Lord absolutely loathed the Doctor; his every action proclaimed it. It was difficult to imagine that they were the same person as the Doctor had told them. His darkness.

The Doctor seemed to shrink as his reflection moved closer. "You wouldn't give up Rose to save Amy. But you didn't love her enough, either. They're both gone, lost to you forever because you couldn't save them. How pathetic."

"No!" he sobbed. "No, she's happy. I gave her what she needed, she's _happy!_"

"Doctor, calm down," Rory cried in alarm. He tightened his grip on that stupid tweed jacket and moved so that he was between the Doctor and his antagonist. He shot a glare at the Dream Lord before turning back to his friend. "Everything's okay. Rose is fine. _Amy_ is fine. She's alive - we both came back to rescue you."

With a feral howl of rage, the Doctor had his hands at Rory's throat and was pinning him to the white floor. "_Don't do this to me!_" He pushed down harder, until Rory was gasping for air, and then he suddenly collapsed against Rory's chest. "How could you?"

Uncertain, Rory sat up and pulled the Doctor into his arms. He didn't say anything, not wanting to set him off again, but he stroked the other man's back and wondered what the hell he was going to do now.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Is there a way to reply to reviews? Y'know, individually instead of just up here. Because you guys have been the best, seriously._

Chapter 10

The pockets - that was what she called them, lacking a better word - were getting smaller, closer together. She was running full tilt through empty rooms and abandoned worlds, barely even slowing when the air popped around her.

She saw the same scenes over and over again. Almost like they were haunting her. She'd seen the Ghost Shift room and Bad Wolf Bay too many times to count. But half of them she didn't even recognize. That strange planet burning before her eyes, the lifeless body of a blond man she didn't know, a puddle of flesh-colored liquid.

These weren't her ghosts.

Unfortunately, she had a strong suspicion she knew whose they were, and she wanted to find out why she was running endlessly through the Doctor's nightmares.

Was this the Silence's method of torturing him? She had to admit that it was probably the most effective. The Doctor had a long past and a lot of regrets. The thought made her seethe with anger. She would find him and they would leave this place behind and if the Silence ever showed their faces again -

Another pocket. Rose figured she was getting closer to the Doctor as the size of the pockets decreased. It seemed as good a guess as anything else she could come up with. She was almost there, just a little bit farther.

A sudden contraction of matter forced a gasp from her lips. She stumbled and came to a stop. It was the Ghost Shift room again, but this time it was different.

This time there were people in it.

Rory's familiar blond head looked up upon hearing her footsteps and the look of relief on his face was profound. The Doctor was half cradled in the nurse's arms and half pressed against the pristine white wall that had separated them that day. Behind them both stood a third man: old, short, with thinning hair and an expression of disgust as he observed them. His clothes were remarkably similar to the Doctor's - everything from the tweed jacket down to the red bowtie.

"Rory, what's goin' on?" she called softly, not wanting to disturb the man in his arms. "Who is that?" She nodded toward the stranger.

She need not have bothered lowering her voice - nobody heard her or even acknowledged her presence except for Rory, whose movements practically screamed that he was in over his head. He lifted one shoulder in an imitation of a shrug. "He calls himself the Dream Lord. We met him once before, when he trapped us in a dream. A nightmare, really." His eyes flickered to take in his surroundings. "A bit like this."

"So this is a dream. The Doctor's dream."

Rory nodded. "Yeah, I think so. Well, the Doctor's plus everyone else who's touched him. That explains all the sleeping people out there. They're all trapped in this dream, too, except they don't know what's happening. I hope it wasn't too bad for you getting here. I imagine anyone who's traveled with the Doctor has plenty of fuel for nightmares, and the Dream Lord seems to hate all of us, though it's worst for the Doctor."

She shook her head, confused. "I didn't see anything of mine. Stuff that involved me, yeah, but it wasn't mine. It was his." She nodded at the Doctor. "Speakin' of which, how come he hasn't even looked at me?"

"I don't know. It's not like he didn't spend the last hour calling your name until he lost his voice." He craned his neck to look behind him. "And _he's_ awfully quiet, too. Usually he won't shut up." He paused. "You know, I don't think they can see you. Or hear you."

Rose frowned. "Doctor?"

The Doctor almost knocked Rory over as he turned to her, face ashen.

"Rose?"

The voice that spoke was not the Doctor's. She raised her eyes to the Dream Lord, who was staring at her with the same tangle of hope and despair. Then she looked at him - really _looked_ at him - and realized.

They were the same man.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The first thing Jack noticed was that the room got a little darker. He glanced up at the lights on the ceiling, but then he remembered that Rose was their newest light source. He turned to look behind him.

Sure enough, her body looked normal again. No more wisps of gold floating off her. As much as he missed the show, Jack was glad that his friend was back to normal. It meant they were probably close to finishing up here and getting back to the safety of the TARDIS.

Across the room, he saw Amy realizing the same thing. They readied their weapons.

* * *

The Dream Lord moved first, striding purposefully toward her. The stunned and extremely emotional expression was replaced with a more business-like mask. He stopped a few meters away and studied her.

The Doctor watched them both mutely.

"Who are you?" the Dream Lord demanded. "How did you get in here? This is my domain."

Rose met his eyes. It was easier to remember, that way, that this man was also the Doctor. Their eyes were the same. "You know who I am," she told him. "I know you remember me."

The Dream Lord's eyes narrowed, but she could see that he desperately wanted to believe that it was her, back at last. "Why? Why are you here? Why now?"

"I came to find you."

Their eyes locked. His jaw clenched.

"So, this..." Rose gestured vaguely to the room. "All of this. It was you?"

The emotions warring in his eyes gave the lie to his flat expression. She wasn't sure if he'd give her the truth when he finally opened his mouth, so she didn't give him a chance. His hesitation answered her, anyway.

"I'd thought it was the Silence," she murmured, "trying to hurt the Doctor as much as they could, in any way they could."

"It's an effective means of doing so," he agreed, voice neutral.

"But it was you." Her mouth thinned into a tight, angry line. She remembered at the last moment not to shout. "How could you _do_ this to yourself?"

The mask dropped. His expression flickered through ecstatic and devastated before settling somewhere in the middle.

_"Rose."_ His voice was all ragged edges and raw emotion. Then his eyes fell to his feet. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I never wanted you to see... me."

She nudged his shoe with hers until he met her gaze again. "I know you make mistakes. Bad decisions. Everyone does. You don't have to drag them around with you forever and beat yourself up over them." She tried not to wince. Maybe not the best choice of words, considering what she'd seen. She carried on. "I want you to try to be happy."

He sighed, and the lines etched around his mouth and eyes seemed to become more prominent. "He tries. Sometimes I hate him for it, but he does try."

"I meant both of you." She pulled a face. "All of you. You know what I mean." With a little crooked smile, she grabbed his hand and squeezed. "'Cos I love you."

He blinked rapidly, trying to hide the shine of tears in his eyes. "No one's ever said that to _me_ before."

"I love every you." She kept her voice low - Rory was still on the other side of the room, and this deserved to be private. Just like John had whispered his love to her on Bad Wolf Bay. "Even if you make bad decisions or mistakes, I'll always love you and I'll always come for you." It seemed silly to doubt that now. She had thought that her Doctor had replaced him in her heart, but John was just another part of him.

"You know how I feel." The tears were leaking out now, down his cheeks, and he distractedly brushed them away. "But I'll let him tell you," he said, jerking his head toward the Doctor. "It's only right. I want you to have my best, and I'm certainly not it."

He squeezed her hands. "I'm going now, but there's one last thing: I'm unlocking this place. Whenever you're ready, you can destroy it and leave. Goodbye, Rose Tyler."

And just like that, he was gone.

"What did you do?" Rory's voice brought her back to the rest of the world. "Is he gone now?"

She realized that he still held the Doctor, and it looked like he'd blacked out for a moment. She trotted over to the two of them, still on the floor. "I sang a song and he ran away. Back to where he came from, at any rate," she said, completely ignoring his skeptical look. She knelt down beside them. "What happened to him?" She knew what had happened, but it was an easy way to distract Rory from things she didn't want to tell him.

The nurse shrugged. "When the Dream Lord disappeared, he just keeled over. I didn't think - I mean, the Doctor told us before that the Dream Lord was part of him. Everything dark in him."

Rose nodded. "The Dream Lord returned to him."

"What, then, are we stuck here now? Last time he showed up, you could escape the dream by dying. I tried that this time, and I just woke up in a different dream. If he's gone, how are we supposed to get out?"

"He told me that he'd 'unlocked' this dream and that I could destroy it as soon as we were ready to leave. Maybe dyin' works now." She combed the Doctor's hair with her fingers. "I just want to make sure that he's okay before we do that."

"Yeah, okay, that makes sense. But how do we wake him up?"

Thinking of the first time the Doctor had been asleep when she needed him, Rose leaned down until her hair fell across his face and her lips were almost touching his ear. "Help me," she whispered.

His eyes snapped open. "Rose?"

She sat back and broke into a smile. "Doctor!" She threw her arms around him and pulled him tight against her chest. "Doctor, I've missed you!"

His arms wound hesitantly around her, as though afraid she wasn't real. "Rose, is it really you?"

"Of course it's me, you daft alien. I came back to find you."

His voice was soft and sad, pitched for her ears only even though he was practically sitting in Rory's lap. "This place is a dream. How do I know you're actually here?" He raised his voice a little as panic set in. "And how could you even be here? I left you with the metacrisis-"

"John," she corrected firmly. She hated that word, metacrisis.

"-and you should be happy with him, and the walls _closed!_ If you're here, it means two universes are collapsing!"

"Doctor!" she cried. She had to stop him before worked himself into a frenzy. "I promise you, everything is fine. If you're ready to wake up, I can show you."

"You can't. The Dream Lord isn't letting us leave - I've tried, trust me - so what makes you think you can get us out of here when I can't?" He held her tighter. He was afraid to let go and find her gone forever again - or worse, never having been here in the first place.

Rose smiled, though he couldn't see it with their cheeks pressed together. "Because he told me I could."

"What?" He pulled back enough to look her in the face. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he's you."

She watched as he processed everything. He looked so worried with his brows drawn together and his gaze downcast. She found herself staring, memorizing his features.

After a long time, he looked up at her. "Promise me that you'll be there when I wake up."

"I promise."

"Then do it. Take us out of here."

The air around her hummed, so full of life and energy, and then caught fire. Golden light spilled out of her and wound its way through the fabric of their shared dream. The last thing any of them remembered was the world dissolving into light.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: This was a tough chapter to write and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. But I just want to move on to the next part, so here you go._

* * *

Chapter 12

The Doctor opened his eyes to a blank ceiling. Not white. Then his whole body bombarded him with messages of pain. He was stiff and sore everywhere.

He also couldn't move.

"A little help?"

There was a scramble of movement and voices. Something shifted on his lap. Something heavy. Rose's face popped into view. She was really here.

Right as she opened her mouth, a blaring alarm sounded.

"Shit." Was that Jack's voice? "Rose, get off him and help me with these straps. We need to move fast."

That was definitely Jack's voice. What was Jack doing here?

Out of his field of view, fingers worked at his bindings, pulling and twisting. He tried to be stoic, but the occasional hiss of pain escaped. It seemed he was pretty banged up. What had the Silence been doing to him?

The last of the straps fell free and he struggled to lift his head. Why was he so weak?

"Steady, there," said Jack, leaning over him. The other man slipped something over his head and suddenly his friend came into focus. "You're in no shape to be walking, let alone running for your life. I'm gonna carry you."

"Jack?" he repeated dumbly. Why couldn't he think of something more intelligent to say?

His old friend grinned. "Good to see you, too, gorgeous." He slipped his arms under the Doctor's knees and behind his shoulders. "Now let's get out of here." He turned his head to look at something over his shoulder. "Amy, Rory, you ready to go?"

The Doctor's head was reeling. "Amy?" he breathed.

"Reporting for duty, Doctor," came her familiar voice from somewhere behind his head. "Now shut up."

* * *

"I'll go first this time," Rose said as they neared the door. Around them, the people in the hospital beds were stirring. They were all still drowsy and weak and hooked up to IVs, but they were the enemy all the same.

Jack stopped her when she went to open the door. "Rose, don't. It's safer if I do it."

She nodded at the man in his arms. "Then give the Doctor to me. I don't want him getting shot because you're takin' him to the front."

"You sure you can carry him? He's heavier than he looks."

"Just hand him over." She started to forcefully lift the Doctor out of his arms. "And then get going."

"Yeah, we're not keen on waiting for reinforcements to show up," Rory reminded him.

"Right." Jack unceremoniously dumped the Doctor into Rose's arms and pressed his face to the window. "No one's out there yet. Let's go."

He kicked the door open - Rose suspected he was just showing off - and slipped out into the hallway. Rory followed him, and then Amy, with Rose bringing up the rear. She paused a moment to check on the Doctor, who was being unusually quiet, but it looked as though he'd passed out again. She shifted him into a fireman's carry that left one of her hands free and trotted after her friends.

Jack had been worried for nothing, she thought absently as they traced their way back through the winding corridors toward her TARDIS. The Doctor was heavy, yeah, but not difficult to carry.

Ahead of her, Jack held out his hand to signal them to stop. Footsteps echoed from up the corridor and around a corner somewhere. They all pressed themselves against the wall and stopped moving.

The hasty thudding of boots grew louder and louder until suddenly rows of uniformed clerics were filing past them in double-time, heading for the room full of sleepers. Jack waited until they were out of sight before urging his companions into motion once more. They hadn't gotten far - still trying to move slowly and smoothly and stick to the shadows - when cheers and excited whoops erupted from the direction the clerics had gone.

They didn't have time to wonder why. An unfamiliar voice - a woman's, quiet, authoritative, and with a slight fuzziness that reminded Rose of a purring cat - echoed down the hallway: "This is not the time to be celebrating. The Doctor has escaped and your first priority is to find and recapture him."

Acutely aware of the man currently hanging across her shoulders, Rose darted a glance toward Jack, who was looking at her. The tiny dip of his head and the twitch of his eyebrow told her clearly, _Stay calm. We can't panic now._ She gripped the perception filter hanging around her neck as they continued toward the stairs.

* * *

Amy had barely managed to keep herself from flinching when she heard that woman's voice. This was no time for memories. If they were lucky, they wouldn't even see her again. They wouldn't see anyone else, and they'd be back in the TARDIS before the Silence so much as figured out how the Doctor had escaped.

That didn't stop her from loosening the pistol at her waist.

Unfortunately, this bunker was huge. They were still a good five minutes from the stairwell and moving only marginally faster after Kovarian's announcement. So when she spoke again, it felt like a bad omen.

"All troops will move to blockade the fourth floor," she commanded. "You will stand shoulder to shoulder and let nothing through; the Doctor and his rescuers are wearing perception filters. I am sending in a contingent of the Headless to deal with them."

The distant scramble of soldiers was drowned out by her brain's automatic response. "What do we _do_?" she hissed at Jack.

"Make for the lift," he ordered. "It's closer."

Just like that, they were off, tearing through the hallways as fast as their feet could carry them, their frantic pounding rendering the perception filters ineffectual. Amy spared a thought for Rose, who was still carrying the Doctor, but she seemed to be keeping up just fine.

Jack rounded the last corner ahead of everyone else and stiffened as the crack of gunfire left him riddled with holes. Amy stumbled to a halt still behind the safety of the wall and watched numbly as the captain's body collapsed in slow motion before her.

_"Grab him!"_ Rose screamed, shocking her body into obedience before her mind could catch up. She came back to full awareness with the collar of Jack's greatcoat in her fist. She spared a panicked look at Rose, who gestured for her to raise the body higher.

"Use him as a shield," the other woman instructed urgently as she ushered Rory and herself into position behind Amy. "We need to get to the lift."

A peek around the corner revealed that the soldiers who'd shot Jack were all at the far end of the corridor, while the five of them were just opposite the lift doors. They could probably make it.

At Rose's signal, they stepped into the open together. Amy grunted as a second round of bullets buried themselves in Jack's chest. She staggered backward, but Rory steadied her.

Another step, another hail of gunfire, another force trying to push her off balance. A few more awkward shuffles and they were halfway across. The clerics were storming down the hallway, desperate to cut them off. Another step, and another, and another, and -

Behind her Rory grunted, and she could tell he was biting back more vocal expressions of pain. "Rory?"

"Not now," he managed. "Lift."

So she guided them into the open doors and waited, nerves jangling, while Rose dumped the Doctor to the floor and fished in his pockets for the sonic.

"Hurry!" Amy wasn't sure she could hold Jack up much longer. He was a solid weight on her rapidly tiring arms.

Finally there came a distinct electronic whirr and the doors closed. Amy let Jack's body slump to the ground and dropped to her knees beside her husband.

He was pressing his wadded up hoodie to his shin, where his jeans were stained a dark red. His teeth were gritted in pain.

"Oh god, Rory, are you okay?" Her fingers hovered above his, but she was too nervous to touch anything and maybe mess it up. He knew what he was doing, she told herself. He was a nurse.

He exhaled forcefully. "It's just a bullet. I'll be fine once we get to the TARDIS."

"The medbays are outfitted with equipment advanced enough to deal with any possible complications," Rose assured them - with information they already knew - while she fiddled with the sonic. "He probably won't even have a -"

Jack gave a tremendous gasp and lurched into a sitting position.

Rose aimed the sonic at the button panel and the lift lurched into motion.

"Three millenia of technological improvements and the Church still can't make a decent elevator," he complained.

Amy rolled her eyes and set about helping Rory bind his calf. Aloud, she said, "Now what?"

Jack eyed the doors. "Now we hope that the headless brothers don't beat us to the bottom floor, otherwise Rose's TARDIS might as well be on a different planet."

"Well that's comforting," she snarked. "Let's assume the worst. What do we do?"

"Keep using Jack as our shield," Rose replied with an apologetic grimace at the captain. "Pray we're lucky."

The lift ground to a halt. _Perfect timing_, Amy thought darkly.

Jack waggled his eyebrows at Rose and took his place at the doors. His friend bent down to resituate the Doctor across her shoulders. Amy helped Rory to his feet, slid in front of him, and drew her pistol. Rose's rushed training from the previous afternoon was playing on repeat in her head.

* * *

They were not lucky.

The lift doors opened on a cohort of black-hooded, chanting terrors with swords drawn. They ran Jack through immediately. Amy struggled to catch his collar before the rest of them were defenseless.

Then she remembered the gun in her right hand and she reached around the body to fire it at the nearest monk. Her target fell - hard to miss at this range - but the chanting never faltered and another monk stepped forward to close the gap. She fired until the magazine was empty and instead of the deafening report there were only futile clicks. It made no difference. They just kept coming.

She tossed the gun away and shifted to hold Jack up with both hands, but she was certain that this was it. That this was where she died.

It didn't take long for the monks to slice away enough of Jack's body to make him useless as protection. Amy dropped his severed head and moved back to take Rory's hand. They'd go together, at least.

But when the monks raised their hands, crackling with energy, it wasn't her they pointed at.

It was the Doctor.

* * *

All at once, everything was fire - was light. Amy flinched back, raising a hand to shield her eyes. Someone was speaking, and it sounded like Rose. Almost.

_"I am the Bad Wolf."_

"What?" Rory croaked into her hair.

Amy ignored him in favor of peeking through her fingers. Her first instinct was to fall to her knees - whether out of wonder or blind fear, she couldn't tell.

Rose was burning.

This wasn't the pale, halfhearted glow from the quarantine room. This was the fire of a sun that wreathed Rose in its blaze, curling sinuously around her. Then Amy looked at her face and saw her gold-burning eyes, and realized that the light wasn't surrounding Rose. It was part of her. She saw this, and she was afraid.

She thought the monks might be, too, because their chanting had changed tone. They were supposed to be incapable of fear, but she didn't think it would be fair to blame them for failing this time. Rose had become something beyond human, beyond living. She simply and undeniably _was_.

One of the monks summoned the courage to blast her with the lightning accumulated in his outstretched palm. Rose lifted her own hand, and caught it, and dissipated it.

_"You desire the death of this man with your whole hearts,"_ she said to them. _"I desire his life."_

The unintelligible chanting grew stronger, more aggressive. The monks, Amy guessed, had somehow overcome their fear enough to threaten the creature before them.

Rose extended her arm and Jack returned violently to life, his body stitched together again. His eyes went straight to her, full of what Amy thought might be faith. He looked at her as though she were a goddess.

_"As easily might you challenge the turn of the planet,"_ Rose continued in that strange voice, like there were two of her, speaking the same words at the same time. _"I bring life. He will live."_

The chanting shifted again, became steadfast and somber.

_"Then consider them given."_

With no warning, flesh and cloth and steel melted, dissolved particle by particle, into motes of light. Amy, unable to silence her thoughts, watched in horror as the monks were torn apart. Were they still alive, could they feel it? Did it hurt? She clutched at Rory's hand, desperate for some sort of comfort, and felt him trembling.

"Rose," whispered Jack when only dust remained. How could he be so calm about this?

Rose turned her gaze on him and the gold fire left her eyes. "I want him safe, Jack. At any cost." Then she collapsed.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

In the end it was Madame Kovarian barking for reinforcements on the bunker's comm system that stirred them out into motion again. Jack picked up Rose and the Doctor and carried them, one over each shoulder, while Amy sidled under Rory's left shoulder to support his hobbling gait. Despite Kovarian's call to arms, they encountered no more soldiers, only dust. Rory tried not to think about what the dust had been as they waded through it.

Once they were inside the blue box and the doors closed, Jack laid his friends gently on the grating and led Rory to the medbay. Amy went with them - for company, Rory suspected, as much as to help him. None of them spoke, and the TARDIS was eerily quiet.

By the time they returned to the control room, Rory's leg completely healed with not a scar or limp to show for it, Rose was also back on her feet and fiddling with the TARDIS controls. She looked none the worse for wear physically, but there was a hint of fear in her eyes.

She looked up as they entered. There was a long, awkward pause where nobody could quite figure out what to say.

It was Jack who broke the stillness. "Glad to see you're back on your feet," he said, and he looked genuinely relieved.

Rory, for his part, was starting to realize how protective the captain was of his friend, this mysterious Rose Tyler. How even with his words he tried to guard her. Right now he was protecting her from the uncomfortable silence and their unease and their curiosity. Right now he was telling her, _I'll stand with you no matter what_. Rory wondered idly if Jack was in love with her.

Rose took his words to heart. Her smile, if that tiny quirk of her mouth deserved the name, was tentative but grateful. "Me too. Sorry if I scared you all. I didn't-" Her gaze flickered back to the console. "I'd better get us out of here before something else happens."

And that was all they said on the matter.

* * *

They almost managed to get the Doctor back to his TARDIS before he woke up, but the sound of the dematerialization process was apparently too much. He blinked several times, slowly adjusting himself to his surroundings. In fact, he spent several minutes gaping at the room he was in.

"What happened to my TARDIS?" he cried finally. "Which one of you barbarians did this? Jack! It was you, wasn't it!" His questions very quickly snowballed into very loud and frantic accusations.

Jack said nothing to acquit himself, but his eyebrows rose steadily until they were hidden by his hair and he was trying very hard to keep from smiling.

Rose snorted and had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle a burst of giggles.

The Doctor looked over his shoulder to give her a sulky glare. "It's not funny, Rose. My last couple models had rubbish taste. And that idiot had to go and redecorate my entire TARDIS just to remind me!"

Her gasps of laughter came harder. She tried to speak and only managed to collapse against the console. First Jack and then Rory and Amy joined in as well and she knew it would be a while before she could catch her breath. It wasn't even that funny. She shouldn't be breaking down like this, but after the last few hours, maybe she just needed something to laugh at. Maybe they felt the same way.

Over the course of the next several minutes, Rose could see the Doctor getting more and more peeved, not least because no one could explain why they were laughing so hard without setting off another round of giggles.

Settling down at last, Rose was able to sputter, "It's not your TARDIS, Doctor." The incredulous look he gave her was almost enough to set her off again. She waved toward the door. "Your TARDIS is through there."

He eyed her warily, clearly not sure if he could believe her. But he braced against the railing and pulled himself to his feet. He took a few cautious steps forward, testing his legs every time to see if they could bear his weight. His lively antics upon coming to had made her forget how worn out he must still be after everything.

Jack must have noticed, too, because he was on his feet and halfway across the room before she could say anything. His arm slid quietly around the small of the Doctor's back, pulling him close. Trust Jack to make it more physical than necessary.

The silence that followed those actions amazed Rose. Time was, the Doctor would be ready with a smart retort whenever Jack tried to flirt with him. Either his personality had changed drastically in that regard or he was so exhausted that he didn't protest. Rose's heart clenched at the thought, but the two of them looked so sweet together.

The door creaked as Jack pulled it open and he and the Doctor walked through.

"Rose Tyler," came the Doctor's voice, tinged with wonder.

She waited until it became apparent that he had nothing else to say. "I told you. Nobody redecorated your TARDIS."

"I am going to get some tea," he said slowly, savoring every syllable, "and then we are all going to sit down and you are going to explain everything."

A slow, warm smile spread across Rose's face. "You might want to move the TARDIS first," she said. "I had Jack hook up the extrapolator before we left, but no point takin' any chances."

His voice drifted back through the open door as he moved around his own control room. "Right. That first."

* * *

Steam drifted up from the mug of tea on the table. The Doctor leaned over and inhaled it.

Rose studied him worriedly. "Look, Doctor, I know how beneficial tea is, but... are you sure you don't want to rest? This is probably gonna be a long talk and you-"

"Rose." He gazed down at her. His eyes were heavy-lidded and sunken, though she couldn't tell if that was an effect of his time with the Silence or just the natural look of this new face. "I don't want to sleep right now."

She swallowed. Right. "Well, I'll go round everyone up and we'll meet you in the library."

* * *

The Doctor walked into his library half an hour later in a clean suit. His hair was still wet from the shower and he'd used the dermal regenerator to patch up the worst of his injuries. He felt much better for having taken those detours and now he was ready for this talk.

He studied the arrangement of bodies on furniture. Rory sat in one of his big, well-padded armchairs. Amy sat on Rory, leaning into the high back of the chair and holding her husband's hands. They looked very content. Jack was reclining in a smaller chair, his ankles crossed on the footstool. And Rose was nestled into one corner of the sofa with her feet tucked up under her and a thin blanket around her shoulders.

There were several empty chairs and a loveseat, also unoccupied, but he kept returning to the sofa where Rose sat. Did she choose the sofa on purpose? Was she waiting for him to join her? Or did she pick that spot at random? Maybe she didn't want to sit with him, maybe she...

Feeling his gaze, perhaps, she turned and smiled at him.

All his thoughts went out the window and he walked over and sat down next to her, though he left a little space between them just in case.

Jack spoke first. "I'll be honest, Doctor, I'm surprised you made it this long without exploding. You must have a lot of questions."

"Yes," he said coolly. Rose wriggled beside him and when she finished rearranging herself, her knees were pressed against his thighs. With a struggle, he brought his mind back to the conversation. "I want a full and complete explanation of everything I missed, from the beginning. Who's going to start?"

"Well, there are three different beginnings," Jack replied easily. "Take your pick."

His eyes swept over the room. "Rory."

The younger man started. He'd been paying more attention to his wife than to the direction the conversation was going. "Yes?"

"Tell me what you did while I was gone."

He swallowed nervously. "Uh, well, I brought Amy back to the TARDIS and I waited."

"You waited," he echoed. _The boy who waited._ His hearts began to sink as he realized that Rory had spent three weeks alone with his wife's corpse in an empty time machine that he couldn't pilot. The things his companions suffered because of him...

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Rory shot back, mistaking the Doctor's guilt-ridden silence for accusation. "I can't fly the TARDIS and I couldn't even peek out the door without being shot at! But you never came back."

The Doctor winced and held up his hands placatingly. "So then what? Something must have happened or you'd still be waiting."

Rory shrugged while Amy ran her fingers through his hair. "Rose showed up. Her TARDIS materialized right in the middle of the control room."

The Doctor turned to the woman sitting at his side. Was it just him or were more of their legs touching now? "Rose." He hesitated. "Start with when I dropped you off at Bad Wolf Bay the second time. How did you get from twenty-first century Norway in Pete's World to my TARDIS in-" He glanced at his watch. "-5167 in this universe?"

"Bad Wolf Bay. Right." She swallowed, looking a little pale. "Me'n John an' Mum-"

"John." She had used that name in the dream, too. "That's what you called-"

"Yeah."

Everyone was watching them now. Jack knew what had happened; the Doctor still recalled his comment about the three Doctors. But it was clear that she hadn't told the Ponds about it. Should he explain?

Before he could really consider it, Rose had picked up her narrative again. The Doctor mentally dismissed the potential confusion. These explanations were for his benefit, not theirs. They could ask later if they were interested.

"-sent a zeppelin to pick us up," Rose was saying. "John and I got to work on settin' up the coral like Donna said to. A few years passed. Our TARDIS grew up, John and I got married and started travelin' the stars again. The Doctor and Rose in the TARDIS, just like it should be."

Those were his own words from all those years ago. She had been happy. He blinked back tears, willing himself to focus on what she was saying now because a tiny part of his brain was screaming that something was terribly wrong.

"It didn't take us long to realize that something had changed. John was gettin' older, aging normally, but I wasn't. I didn't look much older than when we faced the Daleks on Satellite Five."

The blood drained from his face and roared in his ears. "No. Please, Rose, tell me it wasn't that." A stolen glance at Jack revealed a calm face. He already knew. Even Rory and Amy were exchanging looks, though theirs were less certain.

Rose met his eyes for a second before turning away again and continuing with her story as though he hadn't spoken. "John was worried, too. He was afraid that somethin' would happen to me. He ran some tests in the TARDIS."

"And?" His voice came out in a whisper.

"Nothing certain, but he thinks I've got some of the TARDIS in my genetics now."

"Hold on a minute," Amy practically exploded, beating him to the punch and accidentally elbowing Rory in the face. "You're telling us that you're part-TARDIS. Part bigger-on-the-inside time-traveling blue box. You."

Rose shrugged. "We're not sure. That's his best guess, considerin' that I did absorb the TARDIS's heart once."

She was so calm on the outside, but he couldn't imagine she was this unaffected on the inside. Without conscious thought, his hand was brushing up her leg, seeking her hand. Their fingers twined and she squeezed, holding him tight.

Amy leaned forward. Behind her, Rory sputtered and clutched a hand to his nose while his face twisted in pain. She ignored him. "What do you mean, absorbed a TARDIS heart? How? Is that why you-" She glanced at Jack, noting his darkened demeanor, and sat back. "Right. Never mind, I'll ask later."

Now the Doctor was curious. Especially considering Jack's reaction. "Is that why she what?"

Amy gave him her best innocent face, though it was marred by her slight pallor. "It's nothing," she said. "Just a thing that happened while we were breaking you outta prison."

"Tell me."

Rory felt it necessary to intervene at that point. "Look," he mumbled, his voice muffled by the hand guarding his nose, "you can ask Rose about it later. It's really not important right now."

The Doctor subsided with a pout. "Fine."

Rose rolled her eyes at him, though her humor was a little forced. "So spoiled."

"I don't want to hear it. Continue with your story."

"We decided that I'd wear a perception filter when I was out and about and that would be the end of it. But John couldn't let it go. He was worried about what would happen to me after he died. So in his free time he started workin' on a way to send me back across the Void and find you or Jack. So I wouldn't be alone."

The Doctor wanted to butt in and ask what the hell his clone thought he was doing, attempting travel of that kind. He knew the consequences if he got it wrong. But he bit his tongue and let Rose speak.

"Well, we spent a good sixty years together. We were happy. And then he died. I spent seven years tryin' to come to grips with that before I decided to make the trip. My TARDIS locked onto your TARDIS and I walked into the control room looking for you only to find Rory standin' there pointin' a sword at me."

He turned to look at Rory, who seemed to have recovered from the blow to his nose.

The younger man shrugged. "What? I thought there was only one TARDIS, but you were gone - captured or dead, I didn't know. I didn't know if I could trust her. I had no idea what was happening."

"But you two obviously got over your differences quickly enough. You organized my rescue together."

"Yeah," Rory agreed. "Well, that was her idea so I figured she couldn't be that bad. So we went to Cardiff and picked up Jack, and then Rose told me she knew a way we could bring Amy back."

The Doctor had a very bad feeling about this. "And what was it?"

Jack answered this one with a vague, "You remember Nancy and her son."

"I do," he replied stiffly, seeing where this was going. "But where did you get - Oh, tell me you didn't."

Rose grinned. "We did. An earlier time, before you and I showed up. Jack was able to work around his duty roster, so we knew when we'd have enough time to do it."

"And then you all came to find me in Rose's TARDIS," he finished. No point in lecturing Rose and Jack about the perils of crossing time streams - and he couldn't argue with the results. He just hoped they'd never feel the need to do something that dangerous again.

"Absolutely." Her grin had softened into a smile, and he could see the worry in the lines of her brow and the way she watched him.

"Well," Jack announced with a yawn, dragging the Doctor's attention away from Rose, "I'm off to bed. It's been a long day, what with getting shot and all." He winked at the Doctor. "I'll see you in the morning."

The Doctor refrained from explaining that there was no morning in the Time Vortex as Jack left the room. The captain already knew, anyways.

Amy and Rory took the opportunity to make their way to bed as well, calling out their goodnights on the way out.

Finally it was just him and Rose left. By now their hands were clasped tightly and their legs were pressed together from hip to knee. The Doctor had a brief moment to wonder how that had happened before she was standing and pulling him to his feet as well.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know about you," she murmured, not quite meeting his eyes, "but I need some sleep. The time I spent wanderin' about in your dreams wasn't exactly restful."

His hearts went cold. "I'll just stay here then." His voice sounded funny, even to his own ears. "Read a book or something. Go on. I'll be here when you wake up."

She sighed. "Fine. Pick out your book and make yourself comfortable. I'll keep you company."

"But - but you need-"

He stopped when she pulled off her jumper and tossed it on the floor. It was followed by her boots and then her socks. He didn't realize he was staring until she raised an eyebrow. "You can stop starin', nothing else is coming off."

He blinked and flushed and stuttered something about not meaning to, because he hadn't. It was just that - just that... He gave up. He'd lost his train of thought and it wasn't coming back.

Rose ignored his antics and grabbed the blanket she'd been wearing earlier, wrapping it around herself before lying down on the sofa. "Goodnight, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Rose," he whispered, and went to find a book.

* * *

Rose woke up to a dimly lit library, back on the Doctor's TARDIS, unsure of what had woken her but filled with a vague sense of unease. One of the big fluffy armchairs had been dragged over to sit next to the end of the sofa where her head was. She could make out the Doctor's lanky frame slumped in it and an open book resting on his lap. A glimpse of his face, contorted into a pained expression, solidified the dread in her stomach.

As she watched, he shifted ever so slightly and breathed her name, clearly in distress.

"Doctor," she called softly, placing a hand on his arm. "I'm right here."

Her touch or her words, she wasn't sure, but something spurred him into wakefulness. His torso jerked forward into a sitting position as his eyes opened. "Rose!"

She sat up herself and moved to squeeze his hand. "Everything's fine, Doctor. We're all safe now."

He looked her up and down, his face still looking tortured. "You're really here."

Her heart broke at his words. "You thought..." She broke off. "Doctor, I'm not leavin' you. I'm real, I'm here, and I'm stayin'."

He launched himself at her, his arms coming around her as he buried his face in her hair. His shuddering breaths rocked both of them and she held on just as tight. Their limbs tangled and their minds pressed together and she felt his fear, his desperation, and his overwhelming need to prove to himself that she was real. That he wasn't dreaming.

She shifted a little, pulling him out of his chair and onto the sofa with her. He didn't resist.

When they were both settled, he drew back to look at her, that terrible, lost expression still on his face. "I thought you were gone," he whispered brokenly. "I thought I'd never see you again. But here you are, back on the TARDIS. With me." He licked his lips. "How many times can you come back to me? Is this my last chance?"

"Doctor, I-"

Lips, warm and soft, pressed to hers and stole the breath from her lungs. The words fell away and there was no nightmare, no hesitation, no distance between them. Everything was right in her world.

The Doctor tilted his head to meld more fully to her mouth so she could taste him with each breath she took. It felt so wonderful, so _complete_ - until his tongue slid out to stroke her lower lip. A velvety moan escaped her throat and before she knew it his arms were winding about her, crushing her close, and her hands were fisting in his hair.

She wriggled, needing to be closer still, to feel his hearts beating against her chest. It took her a moment to realize he was growling as he pushed her down into the sofa and covered her with his weight - and _oh_, just the thought of where this was leading was enough to make her dizzy with pleasure...

Of course that was when the cloister bell began to ring.

* * *

_A/N: In case you're wondering, this is NOT the last chapter. They can't rest easy yet._


	14. Chapter 14

Part II: Ghosts

Chapter 14

The Doctor scrambled into the control room, Rose at his heels, to see River Song standing at the console in pyjamas and a fuzzy dressing gown. He stopped dead.

She flicked a switch and the clanging bells stopped. She looked as though she'd seen a ghost, which was about how he felt. He'd expected never to see her again. What was she doing here?

"River, what..." He cleared his throat and tried to act normal. "What did we do the last time you saw me?"

"You took me to Darillium to see the singing towers." She relaxed a little as she answered the question. This was familiar ground for them, figuring out when they were.

"So you still have my sonic screwdriver?"

She held it out in her left hand. "Yes."

"How..." He was about to ask her something he knew he shouldn't when he noticed her gaze shift to something behind him. Before he could react, her Alpha Meson blaster was in her hand and she was firing. A loud thud signalled something hitting the floor.

No. Not something. Someone.

"Jack!" That was Rose's voice. A moment later, Amy was shouting her daughter's name in anger. "Melody Pond!"

A glance over his shoulder revealed Jack slumped against a wall, Amy and Rory behind him. The three of them must have been woken by the bells. Jack would be fine, he knew. He'd come out of worse situations than this. But that excused nothing.

"River!" he roared, rounding on her now. "Why did you shoot him? He's my friend!"

She met his icy gaze steadily. "He's not your friend."

"What are you talking about? Of course he is." He took a cautious step toward her - not worried that she would harm him, but most definitely wanting the gun out of her hands.

Jack gave an almighty gasp and sat up.

River went pale. She fired again. Jack fell back once more. "He's not your friend, he's trying to kill you!" she snapped. "He works for the Silence! Now step back and let me protect you all if he gets up again." She leveled her blaster at Jack's chest again.

"River," the Doctor said deliberately. It was his warning voice, his you-get-one-last-chance-to-let-these-people-go voice, and he never thought he'd be using it on River. "Put down your gun. Jack is not working for the Silence."

She entrenched herself. "Doctor, I've seen him taking orders from Kovarian herself. I don't care if you think he's your friend - I've sacrificed all of time to keep you safe, and I'm not going to balk at this."

Amy spoke up. "Melody, please, listen to him. This man, Jack, he just helped us save the Doctor from the Silence. He's not-"

She was interrupted by Jack reviving a second time, and this time River didn't shoot him immediately. The captain shot her a weak glare. "What'd I ever do to you?" he slurred as Rose helped him sit up.

River ignored his jibe and remained steady - not getting angry, but not relaxing, either. "Why are you here? What are you doing on the TARDIS?"

Jack shrugged. "Rose needed my help, it was more interesting than my day job, the Doctor's too cute to die now, I care about my friends. Take your pick."

Rose had released Jack, who was recovering quickly, and stepped back, but she still hovered protectively between him and River. That was Rose, looking out for everyone.

"Why aren't you dead?" River continued. "This blaster is lethal and I'm a very good shot."

"I noticed," Jack said dryly. "But that's between me and my D-"

"It's my fault, River," the Doctor interrupted, hoping to head off a shouting match between River and her uncooperative target. "He was traveling with me and it was an accident, not some nefarious plot. Nobody knew what happened, not even the person who did it. It isn't anything to do with the Silence."

"Doctor," River said calmly, without taking her eyes or her blaster off Jack, "I understand that you trust this man, but I don't think you should. I've seen him with the Silence. If you don't care about your own safety, then do this for me: check his memories. Otherwise I'm going to keep shooting until he stays dead."

The Doctor felt his stomach drop. This was not going to be pleasant either way. River couldn't shoot Jack until he stayed dead because he _couldn't_ stay dead, but if she decided to try, they'd be standing here till the stars burned out. He knelt down beside Jack and they locked eyes. "I won't make you do this," he whispered. "I'll find another way to convince her."

Jack attempted a nonchalant shrug, but what the Doctor saw in his movements was fear. "Can't be worse than dying over and over," he joked. They both knew it was a lie.

"I mean it. It'd be bad enough for most people, but the things you've seen... The horrors and regrets of hundreds of years... I can't-"

"Doc," he deadpanned. His eyes were screaming for help. "Just do it." More softly he added, "And don't hate me for what you find."

The Doctor placed his fingers to Jack's temples. "Relax," he said, loud enough for River to hear. Then he tried out his new instructions, since he couldn't use the door ones now. "Imagine yourself in an open field with me." The words felt alien on his tongue.

Jack's mental barriers opened and the Doctor was flooded with life, hundreds of years of it, and so many deaths. He focused, and the image of a grassy meadow solidified around him. Jack stood beside him looking strangely vulnerable even with his greatcoat and battle clothing. The Doctor was reluctant to stay, so with the gentlest of touches, he began their tour of Jack's memories.

* * *

Jack was crying when he opened his eyes. He wasn't sure why - there were too many possible reasons and none of them was enough anymore, but right now he wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep until this heartache left him.

The Doctor rustled against him and he forced himself to focus on the world at hand.

"He's clean," the Doctor was saying to the curly-haired stranger who'd shot him twice. "He's never seen the Silence before yesterday. He is, however, missing two years' worth of memories from before we knew each other."

The woman narrowed her eyes. The Doctor had called her River, and Jack would wager all his money that this was River Song, the decidedly not-dead daughter of Amy and Rory.

He spoke up for himself before she could decide to shoot him again. "Yeah, I told you about that when we met. The Time Agency's responsible."

The Doctor frowned. "Are they?" He spun on his heel, wrists flopping loosely in front of him. "River said she'd seen you with the Silence. You say that's impossible, but you admit that you don't know what you did for two years. You even told me that you could have been a criminal for all you knew. You thought it was the Time Agency - a reasonable assumption given your circumstances - but now... Now we're dealing with creatures that can edit themselves out of your memories, steal away your time."

He turned from Jack to River to Amy to Rory. "You remember what it's like! Usually they only take little chunks, but what if you were with them for a majority of your time for two years? How much of that time would be left in the end? Easy enough to clean up after themselves through normal means at that point. And it's not as though you could have refused their requests if you didn't like them. Posthypnotic suggestion, basically, and they as good as own you."

River was stony now, though it was small comfort to Jack, who felt about the same. "So you're telling me that the Silence controlled me for two years, I did whatever they wanted, and they wiped what little of my swiss cheese memory was left at the end?"

"Well, we don't know for sure, of course. Probably never will. But River wouldn't accuse you needlessly, and I trust her."

Jack, not knowing what else to do, got clumsily to his feet. He tried to tell himself that this didn't change anything. He'd always known he could've been up to anything during those years.

Rose's arm slipped under his coat and around his waist, warm and comforting. "You okay?"

He didn't answer - didn't know what to say - so instead he squeezed her hand. His eyes involuntarily moved to River. "What did I do to you?"

Her face was hard. "To me? You did nothing. We never spoke."

* * *

_A/N: And now you get to find out about River. Keep in mind that this story is not always canon-compliant. Also, I swear I didn't mean to kill Jack so many times, it just sort of happened._


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Here you go! Sorry for the wait, my music programming class is killing me. Every attempt to understand Fourier transforms ends in heartbreak._

* * *

Chapter 15

"River, what are you doing here?" the Doctor hissed once everyone else had left. He'd practically had to shove Amy and Rory out the door. "And why come in the middle of the night?"

She ignored his accusatory tone and grabbed his shoulders. "Doctor, I came to warn you. The Silence have discovered your trick at Lake Silencio, they know you're still alive. They'll be looking for you."

"They already found me," he said quietly.

"So my warning comes too late." She settled back, looking him over and, he was sure, noting every cut, every bruise, every shadow on his face. She always did - claimed she had to make sure he was taking care of himself in her absence. "How are you still alive?"

"Rose came for me." He beamed. "That was her, you know, next to Jack."

Her answering smile lit up her face. "So you finally stole her back?"

He snorted. "River, you know me. Do you think I could have done that? _Would_ have done that? No, she found me."

"It's true, you were always a bit daft when it came to breaking the rules." She sighed. "I was going to go back to Luna University after warning you, to throw the Silence off, but if they've found you once, they can do it again. Maybe I should stay and protect you. Goodness knows you can't look after yourself."

"River..." He ran both hands through his hair and started pacing in front of her. "I would love for you to stay, but you can't. There's an important event coming up in your future, and I can't risk changing it. You need to go back. You'll see me again soon enough." Neither of them said aloud what they were both thinking: it would be the wrong him. It was hard for him to do this again - to say goodbye without giving anything away. To lose his best friend without even trying to stop it.

"I suppose you're right." With an impatient arch of her brow, she yanked him to a stop and then into an embrace. He held her tightly and closed his eyes against the tears that he couldn't let her see.

They stood silently for several long minutes, rocking from side to side, before he regained control of his vocal cords. "River, you are the most wonderful friend I could ever have hoped for. A better one than I deserve. I don't say it often enough."

"You never say it," she retorted. "In fact, are you sure you're feeling all right?"

He managed a chuckle, but it hurt. Then, thinking that he'd been hugging her too long and maybe he was being awkward, he released her from his tight hold.

"I'd better go say goodbye to Mum and Dad," she said as she pulled back. "Don't you dare get yourself killed. I've risked too much to keep you alive, and besides, you've got Rose to think about now."

* * *

Though she did her best not to show it, Rose was still reeling from her first encounter with River Song. John had told her about the professor, of course, and their strange meeting in the Library, and her death. In fact, River's presence in this universe was one of the reasons she'd been so reluctant to leave Pete's World.

Almost as soon as she'd arrived in the Doctor's TARDIS, she'd been caught up in the rush of another adventure and her determination to rescue him. Meeting him in the nightmare realm, seeing how much he had needed her, had burned away all her doubts. Just a few minutes ago, they'd been wrapped in each other's arms and the world had felt right for the first time since her Doctor's death.

She hadn't had time to worry about the other woman. Seeing River now was a shock. And when she'd shot Jack on sight...

Rose didn't know what to think anymore.

Jack's rough voice broke into her thoughts. "That was River Song?"

She nodded. "Professor River Song. Though Amy called her Melody just now." When she looked up at him, sitting across the kitchen table from her, he was staring morosely into the cup of tea she'd fixed him. "Is it bothering you that much? What she said?"

"Wouldn't it bother you? I'd always kinda figured those two years wouldn't be good memories. Why would the Time Agency erase them if I was doing what I was supposed to do, you know? But I never expected this. I mean, you saw what those people did to the Doctor." He lifted the cup to his lips to stop himself from babbling.

"Jack," she said sharply. "It's not your fault."

He stuck his chin out defiantly. "Isn't it?" He stood and began pacing the length of the kitchen. His agitation and his greatcoat, which the TARDIS had patched up for him, made the space seem smaller than it was. He paused for a moment in his circuit of the room and looked at her, fear and guilt written plainly across his face. "Rosie." His voice cracked. He stopped, took a deep breath. "Those years I spent with Torchwood... they weren't happy ones, most of them. I did a lot of terrible things - things I never thought I'd be capable of."

Worried by his maudlin turn, Rose tried to interrupt him. "Jack."

"Torchwood knew what I was and they knew about my connection to the Doctor," he continued unheeding, running a hand over his face. "They used everyone in my life against me. They forced me to do the things they didn't want to dirty their hands with. But in the end, I always had a choice." The look on his face dared her to walk away. To give him up as a lost cause. "I can't refuse the blame for my own actions, Rose. I'm done running."

Tears stung her eyes for the broken man before her, though she blinked them back as best she could. The Jack she remembered, bright and shining and happy, had been worn down by the years between. They all had. Trying to be strong for him, Rose wrapped him in a fierce hug and let him cling to her in return.

Her face buried in his shoulder, she whispered, "We're all capable of terrible things, even if we don't like to admit it. The Doctor killed his own people. John committed genocide within an hour of being born. And they're _good people_. The best." She swallowed. "I've done the same, and you saw what I did to those monks. So whatever you did, Jack... it doesn't make you a terrible person. We're not gonna leave you. You're not alone."

He pulled back a bit and kissed her forehead. "Thanks, Rosie. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to make amends." He released her and grabbed his mug from the table. "I'm going to hunt down River and find out what I did."

"She's gone."

They both turned to find the Doctor standing in the doorway. He looked even worse than he had when Rose had woken him up: his eyes were red, his face drawn, lines of grief etched into his skin.

"Gone?" Jack echoed.

"Back to Luna University in her own time," the Doctor told them.

Rose tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. River's miraculous appearance, as much chaos as it had caused, could only be a temporary reprieve from the fate hanging over her head.

The fate Jack was unaware of.

"Well, when's she coming back?" he snapped.

"Jack..." She put a hand on her friend's arm, wondering how to break this to him and yet thinking that maybe it was better for him this way. He didn't need to be wandering the universe chasing redemption for deeds beyond his control. He didn't need that guilt.

The Doctor cut her off. "She's not," he said.

Jack put the pieces together immediately. "That's why Amy told us she was dead." A muscle in his jaw jumped. "Because you're sending her to her death."

The Doctor glared daggers at Jack, more visibly angry than Rose had ever seen him. She was starting to worry. "It already happened!" he shouted. "The first time I ever met her. All the time I spent with her, I was befriending a corpse!" He stopped and seemed to realize that he was yelling and shaking. He took a deep breath before continuing in a more controlled manner. "Why do you care? She tried to kill you."

Jack took a moment to cool his temper, too. "I'm sorry, Doc. I know you wouldn't if you could help it. But I need to talk to her. She can tell me what I-"

"It's not your burden, Jack. Let it go."

The captain scoffed. "Lovely sentiment, coming from the man who insists on taking the blame for every evil thing in the universe. Look, I just want to make this _right_." And before anyone could protest, he pushed past the Doctor and out of the room.

When the Doctor turned to follow him, Rose grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

He tilted his head in a familiar, perplexed gesture even as his fingers twined around hers. He just looked weary.

"He'll be fine on his own for a bit," she explained. "I'm more worried about you. You look like you're about to break down."

"I-" He shuddered, then put a hand to his face. It was wet with tears. Wide eyes met hers. "Rose. Something's wrong with me. I'm not - I can't... My brain feels like it's going to explode."

She forced down the panic that erupted at his words, but couldn't stop her free hand from reaching for him. "What's going on?"

He leaned into her touch. "There's too much," he whimpered. "Too much in my head and I can't keep it there."

Rose guided him to a chair and set about making tea for him. Ever since his regeneration and the Sycorax, it seemed, that was her first response in any Doctor-related crisis. Sixty-odd years with John had only reinforced the habit.

The Doctor watched her work and gradually the tension and rough edges left his features. The tears and the shaking stopped and he appeared absorbed in following her movement around the room.

Feeling a bit more at ease herself, Rose reached out to his TARDIS. _What's wrong with him, old girl? He's never so volatile._

The ship replied with an anxious hum and images of her medbay.

_He's sick? Injured?_ She snuck a glance at him. Honestly, she couldn't rule out anything after his three weeks of mental torture with the Silence, but there didn't look to be anything physically wrong with him. Surely he would've taken care of it when he fixed up his wrists...

Oh. Nothing _physically_ wrong. _Mental_ torture.

The TARDIS confirmed her suspicions, and Rose felt stupid for not having considered this possibility before. He'd been a little messed up over it, yeah - the avoidance of sleep, the nightmares - but he'd seemed so controlled, so normal during the big talk that she'd just assumed.

Oh, but that was stupid. Of course he was only playing at being fine. _I'm always all right_, she recalled him saying He could practically recite that piece of bollocks in his sleep. She was usually so good at seeing through that! What had gotten into her?

The teakettle whistled.

She started, realizing she'd hunched up and was staring moodily at the stove where the water was reheating. A quick mental shake gave her enough focus to finish preparing the tea and set a mug in front of him at the table. He accepted it with an upward quirk of his lips - not quite a smile, but a step in the right direction.

"You were close to her," she said softly as he took a sip. She tried to keep her tone light, didn't want to pressure him into talking about it if he wasn't ready.

"River?" He set the mug down, his face darkening. "She's been my best friend for a good two hundred years now. It's like losing Donna all over again, only with River I knew the whole time that it was going to end this way."

Rose eyed him, more nervous by the second. His tension was returning; he was sucking in great gulps of air and blinking rapidly. "But you were happy together." Her only thought was to get him to concentrate on the pleasant memories.

The Doctor did calm a bit at her words. "During the good times, yes. Like I said, best friend since Donna. She's never been afraid to give me a good kick in the seat of my pants. And do you know, I think she's shot a hole in every single hat I've worn."

She giggled. "She shoots all your hats? Tell me more."

"Let's see." He was brightening, almost as though her happiness were infectious. "There was the Stetson. We went to the American Southwest and I borrowed a hat from Craig and I was going to be a cowboy and then as soon as everyone arrived, she pulled out a pistol and shot it dead."

"May it rest in peace," Rose teased.

His eyes narrowed. "Don't you start. It's bad enough when Amy joins in. Once I stole a fez from the National Museum when the world was ending. Oh, Rose, you should have been there to see it, it was very cool." He preened. "We were on the roof of the museum watching the TARDIS explode. Amy pulled the fez right off my head and threw it into the air. Where River shot it."

Rose was disturbed by his mention of the TARDIS exploding, but the old girl only gave her subtle don't-want-to-talk-about-it vibes when asked and she didn't want the Doctor dwelling on negative thoughts. So instead she joked, "Sounds like she kept you in line."

His smile stiffened and she mentally cursed her lack of knowledge. "She did that. We... Me and Rory went to war. With the Silence." A breathless, pained sound escaped him. "I failed at so much that day. I was losing what it meant to be a good man. And at the end of everything, River came and pulled me back."

He broke down sobbing for a bit before giving a frustrated cry and pounding the table hard enough to spill his tea. "What's _wrong_ with me?! It's like I can't control myself."

Rose grasped his nearest hand and squeezed. "John sometimes felt the same way, especially at the beginning. It'll pass."

"I hope so." He pulled her chair next to his and settled her against his side. "Tell me about your life with him," he whispered into her hair. "Tell me something happy."


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: I have no idea whether Hyde Park is the kind of place that has chess tables but I claim the alternate universe defense. _

_In other news, I'm going to be busy with class projects the next few weeks, so updates won't be as frequent._

* * *

Chapter 16

He was staring at her with dark eyes, begging her for a world he'd given up and a life he hadn't lived.

"Well," she drawled, and for a moment she was back in Pete's World, teasing her husband with his favorite verbal tic before her eyes refocused on this new man with his braces and floppy hair. "John and I got married about a year after-" She paused, burrowed into his shoulder. "-after we stopped the stars from goin' out. I was workin' at Torchwood, he was doin' odd jobs and lookin' after the TARDIS coral. Making sure we could raise her like Donna said to."

"Where did you go first?" he whispered into her ear.

She grinned. "You're not gonna believe this, but the first place we went to was London, in our own time. We were prankin' the paparazzi - we showed up to five different events in one night, bein' obnoxious and getting ourselves noticed. It was revenge for the wedding." At his incredulous sputter, she tried to smother a laugh. "Don't worry, we were careful. John was keepin' an eye on the timelines an' all that. The press couldn't decide whether it was some new Torchwood tech or just really good impersonators."

She snuck a peek at him and realized she'd gotten him to crack a smile. She continued, telling him about the three and a half years before they'd had a fully functional TARDIS, because this Doctor had his own time ship but he'd never had that life on the slow path, living his days in order and having to deal with all the inconveniences and excitement and boredom

She told him of her Doctor setting up his own computer repair shop, and then quitting after a month because he never managed to rebuild the same machine his customer had started out with. Of course, John only closed the computer repair shop so that he could open a "curiosity invention shop," as he called it, where customers would bring him various pieces of broken electronics and he would use the parts to build something new with an entirely different function. But that only lasted until he met a little girl who'd lost her dog and he built a device to track the missing canine. At that point, he'd closed the curiosity shop and begun a new profession as a pet detective. The litany went on.

* * *

"An' then he told me I was wasting my life away sleeping, and insisted I try a different sleep pattern."

He frowned at her, surprised. "What, really?"

She laughed. She could tell he was wondering why he'd never thought to try this with his companions before. "Really. The one we tried - well, _I_ tried it, but he was already on it - I think it was called... dim - dim-" She stopped, huffed impatiently. "Dymaxion, that's it."

"Two hours of sleep a day? You?" He scoffed, just to see her reaction, which was mockingly offended. "How'd you do?"

She shrugged, but her lips were curved with pride. "Almost five years. But then I caught some sort of sleeping sickness on Moshav Minordia, and that was the end of that." It sounded so innocuous, that sleeping sickness, as though all it had done was tire her out, but that had been a week of misery. John had told her she was lucky she had access to the TARDIS's medical facilities because it could have been much worse.

She shuddered in remembrance and the Doctor pulled her closer and started rubbing her arm. Rose thought about explaining that she wasn't cold, really, but she she didn't want him to stop.

* * *

Jack made his way to the control room alone. He'd thought about looking for one of the Ponds, until he realized they'd be in a worse way than the Doctor. River was their _daughter_.

He was trying not to think about Alice and Steven.

The still-unfamiliar glass floor and the smoother side panels and the numerous stairs loomed large and empty before him. It was hard to imagine this was the same ship he'd traveled in all those years ago.

"But you're still beautiful, aren't you, old girl?" She flickered gold and green around him with a pleased burble. A good sign, considering what he was about to ask for. "Listen, sweetheart, I need your help."

The ever-present hum of her machinery sank into a quiet lull. She was waiting.

"River..." He took a deep breath and tried not to lose control again. He'd made his decision and that was the hardest part. Now he just needed to act. "River tells me there's some unsavory parts of my past. Yeah, even worse than when we first met and I almost destroyed the human race. And I want to put them right. But that means I need to know what I did, which means I need to talk to River."

The ship beeped at him sharply. He was at a loss for her meaning, so he guessed. "I know what needs to happen in her timeline," he assured her. "I won't interfere with that. But I need her coordinates."

The lights dimmed uncertainly.

"Please. I'll tell Rose where I'm going. She won't let me muck anything up."

Apparently the appeal to Rose was some sort of free pass as far as the ship was concerned. The lights immediately returned to full power, his Vortex Manipulator beeped with a new message from the TARDIS, and a small recording device popped up on the console.

* * *

"-decided he wanted to be a professional park chess player, didn't even care that you can't _be_ one. He'd go wander around Hyde Park while I was at work, looking for someone to play with him."

Rose shook her head, a look of fond exasperation on her face. "We had a swarm of wyverns - giant flying snakes, can you believe it! - descend on London looking for their missing empress, convinced that we were holding her hostage. We almost went to war over it! We were all going nutters trying to salvage the situation and Dad was trying everything he could think of. I finally get a hold of the Doctor on my mobile, and he's going on about a mile a minute tellin' me how excited he is 'cos he found someone who knows how to play four-dimensional Firaxian chess!

"Of _course_ it turned out to be the empress, doing one of those 'how do the common people live' things for a day. And of _course_ the Doctor had been helping her hide from her entourage. Dad was livid, but by the end of the day he was practically beggin' him to come work for Torchwood."

He was so mesmerized by her animated smile and the curving of her lips that he almost missed his cue. He'd only been listening with half an ear since her bright words had calmed him - it was almost like hypnotism, the way her voice affected him. The specifics didn't matter so long as he could hear her happiness.

Except that now she was looking expectantly at him, awaiting some clue that he was still interested. He quickly backtracked through the last few minutes of conversation. "And did he?"

She laughed as though he'd told a particularly good joke. "Dad eventually put him in our system as a consultant because he always managed to get involved when he thought it was interesting enough to bother, but - well, he could hardly sit still long enough to get his new identity sorted," she told him. "He'd never have mustered the patience for our regular paperwork. Honestly, I don't believe he ever held a job for longer than a month." With a shrug, she added, "I quit Torchwood once our TARDIS was grown, anyway."

When she got up to refill her empty mug with water from the tap, he felt himself trailing after her, dragged along in her gravity, enough that he almost fell out of his chair. He felt like his head was in a fog. "Don't stop," he mumbled. "Tell me about your brother."

"Tony?" She came back to her seat beside him and spent a few moments in silent thought. "Remember," she said at last, "when Mum told you she named him after you?" She frowned and cocked her head to the side. "You were there for that part, right?"

He nodded.

"He ended up a doctor after all. Studied astrophysics after growin' up with John always babbling about it. And he was brilliant at it, too. He wanted to work for Torchwood like me'n Dad, but Mum convinced him not to, so his research wasn't classified. He changed the world."

* * *

Jack glanced up at the luminescent column of the time rotor to make sure that the TARDIS had stopped recording. "You'll make sure she gets the message, won't you? Preferably when the Doctor's not around?"

The ship flashed her lights and gave a little trilling hum.

Jack grinned, figuring it was probably safe to take her response as an affirmative. "Sweetheart, you're the best a man could ask for." He raised his fingers to his lips and then pressed them against the glass column. "Thank you. Now I've gotta get going or your pilot's gonna come after me."

There was one last warm buzz from the TARDIS as he activated his Vortex Manipulator and fell through time and space. He waited until his stomach settled before opening his eyes.

He was in a dark room with just a little light from the windows to illuminate a floor full of books and papers and strange pieces of junk. Archaeological artifacts, he guessed, from what Rose had told him of River's profession. The walls were lined with bookshelves that were full of the same: more books, more papers, more junk, and here and there a disassembled machine.

He heard a soft shuffle from just beyond the door and suddenly he was blinking in the bright light. The woman herself stood across the room from him, mild surprise on her face.

"Lover," she murmured with a toss of her hair. "Didn't I tell you to call before you drop in?"


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Sorry this chapter has taken so long. Life intervened, and may continue to do so. I'm done with school, but now I have to find an actual job. Have no fear - unless I die suddenly, I will not leave this story unfinished._

_That said, I could really use someone to bounce ideas off and to tell me if my plans for this fic are too crazy. If you'd be willing to help me out (or know someone who would), please drop me a private message. Thanks!_

* * *

Chapter 17

_He heard a soft shuffle from just beyond the door and suddenly he was blinking in the bright light. The woman herself stood across the room from him, mild surprise on her face._

_"Lover," she murmured with a toss of her hair. "Didn't I tell you to call before you drop in?"_

Time Agency training took control. All those years living relatively linearly, and the barest hint of a paradox brought back that mindset so quickly he almost felt the mental whiplash.

He forced a little half-smile onto his face. "Sorry about that," he murmured, shifting closer to her so he could stroke his knuckles across her cheek and look into her eyes. He didn't dare try any hand signals if they really were being watched - he'd have to do his best with words alone - but he did need to physically play the part River had forced him into. Focused so intently on him, her eyes told him that this was an act, that he hadn't mysteriously wound up in the wrong part of her timeline. He relaxed minutely and let his hands drop to his sides. "I was afraid you wouldn't answer; you were still angry with me when you left."

She looked away, her playful expression vanishing. "I suppose I should apologize, myself. It wasn't your fault, and you've done so much good to outweigh that incident." Though her words were conciliatory, her tone hinted at something darker. Behind his own pleasant mask, Jack cursed the need for deception even though it might be the only reason River had bothered to speak with him.

His smile widened for a bit, but it wasn't quite happy. "I'm glad you aren't still upset with me, love, but I'm not quite ready to let this go. Even if this specific incident wasn't my fault, there have been plenty of others that were."

"I know."

_How?_ he wanted to ask, but it was irrelevant, and possibly dangerous for her to answer. "Most of those things are in the past. I can't change them or make up for them. But what happened tonight... I don't want to let that slide. I want to be the kind of man you could be proud of." Well, he hoped River would be proud, if she cared enough to feel one way or the other, but the woman he was thinking of was Rose. She'd always believed in him when no one else had.

He took a deep breath. "River, let me make this up to you - with more just an apology."

"Trying to atone for things that aren't your responsibility is a short road to madness."

He thought of the Doctor and guessed she had, too. "I know. I don't want that. But seeing something wrong and trying to make it right, just because you're there and you can - "

"It's a slippery slope," she said, and he could tell that she was relenting. "Be careful."

He smiled, feeling a great weight lift off him. This was the first step out of his own personal darkness. "What can I do?"

The corner of her mouth quirked up, a wistful look in her eyes. "This," she told him, reaching into the pocket of her dressing gown and pulling out a small blue book, "is an accounting of the time I've spent with our mutual friend Johnny. We have a habit of meeting out of order."

"And you use the notebooks to keep track of where you are in relation to each other," he finished. "The T - one of the places I used to work had its employees do something similar."

"Just so. Only these are unique." She flipped the journal open to the end, where only a page and a half of blank space remained. "Mine is almost full, which means I'm almost to the end of our causality loop. After that, I'm free."

His stomach sank again. "This is where I come in?"

She smiled. "Exactly. The job you have now - you can build me an identity and handle all the necessary paperwork. I want to go _home_."

To twenty-first century Earth. To Amy and Rory. To her family.

"I can do that," he lied. She would never make it there, but he was careful not to let that show on his face. The least he could do was make her last days happy.

"Then consider us even." She stopped him when he reached for his Vortex Manipulator. "Stay with me. I don't want to sleep in an empty bed tonight."

"Just sleep?" he asked. Not that he didn't want more with a woman as attractive as River, but it would feel like taking advantage of this deception.

"Just sleep," she confirmed, taking his hand. "Come along, sweetie."

* * *

Rose blinked groggily at the pillow under her cheek that definitely hadn't been there when she went to sleep for the second time last night. Though come to think of it, she didn't remember going back to sleep. She must have nodded off while talking to the Doctor. And then maybe he carried her to bed? Because she certainly hadn't gotten here under her own power.

With a deep breath, she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. The bed wasn't hers; the duvet was a patchwork of bright colors rather than the faded midnight blue one she had shared with her husband. Looking around at the rest of the room, she saw piles of discarded books and heaps of machine parts and trinkets and souvenirs from thousands of planets in hundreds of galaxies. It was haphazard, chaotic, but somehow it all seemed to fit.

Yawning, Rose tossed back the duvet and set her bare feet on the floor, careful to avoid the wires and washers that had migrated there. She was still wearing her clothes from yesterday - minus her jumper and socks which had been left in the library - and she needed a shower.

She wandered out of the Doctor's bedroom and headed for the control room, where her TARDIS was still tucked into a corner. She should probably move it. _Later_, she promised herself as she walked down the ramp and toward the console.

The old girl snagged at her mind, and she glanced down at the console to see lights blinking insistently at her. "Can it wait?" she asked. "I'd like to freshen up, and maybe get some breakfast."

The Doctor's TARDIS replied with a mental flounce that gave Rose the impression of a sulking girl and a whiny _fiiine_.

She laughed. Like Doctor, like TARDIS? Sometimes they could be so childish.

Before she could get drawn into a longer conversation, she slipped through the doors of her own ship and sought out her room. She showered quickly and pulled on fresh clothes while telling her TARDIS about the details of River's visit.

* * *

Jack slid into wakefulness as the bed shifted beside him, and he opened his eyes to River leaning down for a quick peck. "Good morning, sweetie," she said, too syrupy to be completely real, but the happy curve of her lips was true.

Seeing her smile was like seeing the sun coming up - suddenly his past didn't loom so large and heavy. This woman, who'd hated him and feared him, had slept beside him, held him close, and greeted him with a kiss. It felt a lot like forgiveness, and he was willing to squint and pretend.

He grinned up at her and then pulled her back down to nuzzle her hair while she laughed and grabbed his wrists. It was a completely - okay, mostly - platonic gesture. He'd been skin-hungry so long that he'd forgotten what it was like to share friendly touches without the expectation of more. The feel of another person next to you, sharing your life for a few precious minutes, was... incomparable.

"Let me go, you great puppy," she teased at last, but she shifted his arms before he had a chance to obey. "I'm not having you make me late for work."

With that she began rummaging through her closet. As old-fashioned as the mattress, he noted, with only a few minor technological improvements. Her personal sensibilities (and the blaster she wore at her hip) screamed fifty-first century, but her bedroom could have come from the twenty-first.

The light, airy joy hardened in his chest as he pondered that. Was it to remind her of her parents? He recalled his office at Torchwood, the way he filched alien knickknacks from the archives and scattered them around the room so he could imagine that he was back in his own time or on the TARDIS again. Maybe she liked to pretend, too.

Instead of voicing those painful thoughts, he asked the other question that had been bouncing around his brain while she dressed. "How long do you want me to stay?"

River finished pulling her jacket on and sat down at the foot of the bed, but she didn't look at him. "I'm leaving on an expedition in a few weeks," she told him, selecting and pronouncing her words with careful precision. "I'd hoped you could stay until then." After a long pause, she added, "I'd love for you to stick around until the next time I bump into our dear friend Johnny, but I never know how long that will be."

Jack thought about reminding her, or explaining if she hadn't figured it out yet, that he had nothing _but_ time. He could keep her company for decades or centuries and pick up the rest of his life right where he'd left off. He didn't say any of that.

Instead he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "I'll stay as long as you need me," he promised. A muscle jumped under his hand and he soothed it with his thumb.

"Won't your sister and her husband be expecting you back?" Her tone was unconvincingly light. "You were going to be staying with them, weren't you?"

He tried to keep his own words casual. "You need me here. They'll understand." When she didn't reply, he scooted down the bed till he was able to knead the tense muscles of her back and neck. "What's got you so worried about running into Johnny again?"

River pulled away from him and grabbed her left boot from its place on the floor, but instead of tugging it on she glared at it. "That man must think I'm an idiot," she hissed, "if he expects I won't put the pieces together."

Jack froze.

"You know it, too, don't you? That's why you came."

"River," he said slowly, "you know I can't-"

"I'm not asking you to tell me!" she snapped, rising to her feet and tossing the boot away. She stared at him with red-rimmed eyes, but no tears spilled over. "I don't want to know what happens because I can already guess the most important thing: _I am never going home_."

"I'm sorry." It was useless, but it was all he had to offer. The words brought back a flood of memories, other times when he'd have given anything to change a person's fate, times he'd done nothing.

River's eyes hardened. "Don't be sorry, make it up to me. The way you said you would last night."

Wariness swept through him, replacing the sensation of drowning. "How? I can't change it."

"Did I ask you to?" she demanded, one brow raised. "Listen to what I'm saying. My remains - my body, if there is one - you will make sure it gets back to my parents. You will make sure they burn it. That's what you can do."

"What, that's all? No message for them?"

"Tell them..." Her lips trembled. "Tell them I love them and I'm-"

The comm unit at her desk chirped insistently, silencing them for a moment. River crossed the room to shut it up before stuffing it into a pocket. Then she snatched her boots and pulled them on. When her attention finally came back to him, her composure had returned.

"I've got to be going. I'm locking up on my way out, but there's a spare datakey hanging in the kitchen. You're free to wander about as you please, if you still want to stay."

Jack noted how her eyes followed him and even though she'd said that she couldn't let him make her late, she was standing perfectly still in the doorway waiting for his response. He wondered, if he stayed silent, how long she'd wait.

He gave her his best reassuring smile, slow and sweet and just a tiny bit lopsided, as he said, "I'll see you when you get home."

He waited till she was gone before he sighed and flipped open his Vortex Manipulator. Time to let Rose know that he wouldn't be back as quick as he'd thought.

* * *

As soon as she was presentable, and with an apple and some toast in her stomach, Rose made her way back out to the other TARDIS. She closed the door and almost immediately a hologram popped up, flickering in the orange-gold light.

It was Jack.

There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. "Jack, what did you do?" she muttered. But she waited until he'd given his message, promised to be back before she knew it, and flickered out.

She was unable to yell at Jack, so she eyed the time rotor suspiciously. "You helped him, didn't you?" The console emitted an innocent little trill that she didn't believe one bit. "Is it because he flirts with you?"

Before she could really get going, the TARDIS gave a very distinctive _ding!_ that sounded like a message being delivered. She heaved a put-upon sigh. "Is it Jack again?"

The ship's reply was affirmative. But rather than playing this one out via hologram, the TARDIS reached for her mind.

* * *

Amy wanted to go home.

She'd lived through plenty of terrible things, traveling with the Doctor. It wasn't his fault, but that didn't change the fact that she'd seen wars and monsters and madmen, a life without Rory and a sky without stars. But none of it seemed to compare with losing her daughter.

The first time was bad enough, but she'd been able to lean on him then. She thought, in a way, that the comfort he offered them was a way of dealing with his own grief at River's passing.

Now he felt indescribably distant, like he might crack and shatter if she leaned on him. She wasn't sure why she felt differently now, but underneath the pain and the sorrow she was just tired. And for once, she and Rory both agreed that they needed to take a break from traveling. So when she woke this morning with swollen eyes and a nose still stuffed from crying herself to sleep in Rory's arms, she decided to tell the Doctor.

She checked the control room first, of course, hoping he might be puttering around preparing for their next trip. Instead she found Rose standing at the console staring vacantly ahead with eyes that shone with the tiniest hint of gold. Then Amy noticed that her mouth was moving, too, spitting out low-volume nonsense like "can't believe that idiot" and "screwing the timelines".

That probably wasn't good. It didn't look good. "Rose?"

The glow dimmed. "Sorry, Amy," Rose murmured in that eerie monotone. "Give me a minute to finish this up."

When the light had faded completely, Amy studied her. "What was all that about?"

Rose let her head fall into her hands for a brief moment. "Jack," she muttered, "stubborn idiot that he is, decided he needed to talk to River. So he went gallivanting off to her time. And now he's telling me that she's asked him to stay there for several weeks."

Amy felt tears fill her eyes - it was an automatic reaction at hearing her daughter's name - and fiercely resented of her body. She bit the inside of her cheek, hard, and very carefully blinked the tears away.

But it was too late; Rose had seen them. She reached out in her own automatic reaction to offer comfort, then stopped herself halfway, arms suspended awkwardly in midair, as she silently sought permission. Amy leaned forward just enough to close the distance between them, her head going to rest on Rose's shoulder.

Without meaning to, she found herself repeating the words she'd spoken to Rory the night before. "She's my baby. She shouldn't be dying before I do. This isn't the way it's supposed to work." Rose simply rubbed her palms in circles and smoothed back Amy's long red hair.

* * *

By the time Rory stumbled his way out of bed and into the kitchen, his wife was long gone. Though she'd cried herself to sleep in his arms, he'd been unable to quiet his brain and untangle his knotted stomach enough to follow her into sleep until much later.

Without stopping to think, he set about making a pot of coffee - the strong kind he'd started drinking while working long shifts at the hospital. Once the grounds were poured and the coffeemaker percolating, he picked the first clean mug he could find.

It wasn't until halfway through the first cup that he noticed he'd grabbed the pyrotechnic one that said "Galaxy's Best Dad" in gold holographic glitter. It had been a gift from River, one of those outrageous theme park souvenirs that she occasionally picked up between visits. He'd accepted it with a smile and a hug, but deep down he hated it. He hated the reminder that, in all honesty, he was probably one of the galaxy's worst dads, letting his baby girl be kidnapped, brainwashed, manipulated, and then abandoned to grow up on her own. He only used it when River was visitng, to show that he appreciated her gift.

Today it was like a punch to the gut. He very nearly dumped the rest of his coffee into the sink - he would have, except he didn't think he'd make it through the day without that caffeine. As it was, he tried to force the guilt down and chalk it up to Sod's Law.

It wasn't until he was pouring his third cup that he realized he was wrong about the mug. This wasn't his mug, though it was a damn near perfect replica - it must've come from the same place. It had the same exploding firework design, only its holographic glitter spelled out "Bad Wolf."

Perversely upset, he set it down and opened up the cupboard again. He didn't want this werewolf or fairy tale mug; he wanted the present from his daughter, one of the few physical reminders of her existence. He felt a _need_ to be reminded.

But after removing and replacing every mug in the cupboard twice over, he had the sinking feeling that the wolf mug was, in fact, the missing souvenir.

* * *

"'The Silence is an apocryphal sect of the Church supposedly originating in the 50th century,'" he read aloud. Hearing the sound of his own voice in the empty nook prevented his mind from wandering. It wasn't a trick he often needed.

"'Though its existence has never been confirmed by the Church, rumor indicates that the members of this movement were responsible for dealing with sensitive information and the security of the Papal Mainframe herself.'" The rest of the chapter delved into the other security measures taken to protect the Mainframe during the era of the Church militant - in other words, it was useless.

Fighting down the urge to scream his frustration, he snapped the book shut and threw it at the nearest wall. The resounding thud made him pause for several deep breaths. Maybe his attempts at self-control weren't so successful after all.

Still, better this struggle to find the Silence and face them than the endless currents of memories both true and altered that continued to beat against his mind. If he allowed himself to wander, he would easily be swept away by thoughts of the War, the raw and stinging silence of the aftermath. And now he had no Rose to fight the memories away...

No! He had to concentrate. Thoughts on his lifetimes of mistakes could wait till he had made some progress in this stupid game or life and death. He forced himself to pick up another book from the stack.

He'd made it through the next three books and gained only the fascinating tidbit about the Silence possibly having access to time travel when he found himself abruptly standing and breathing heavily. His hands were shaking and the most recent book was on the floor, but at least he'd managed to avoid throwing this one.

"I could have told you that, you pedantic imbecile!" he shouted at the hapless book.

He began to pace. He really ought to have a word with the historians of this era. Had they slept through the last five centuries? Had they buried their heads in the ground and wrote only the muffled murmurs of passers-by? These accounts were lacking so much knowledge - not just of the Silence, but of the rest of era - that calling them histories seemed dishonest.

And how could there be so little information on the Silence, anyway? They tried to keep themselves hidden, and they'd done a decent job of it in his case, but he hadn't exactly gone looking for them with the sole exception of Demons Run. Nobody else had the excuse of being absent from this era most of the time.

For all their attempts to keep secret, the Silence had practically been walking around in jackboots. Somebody should have been able to keep track of them. They'd bought a whole planet, for Rassilon's sake! And then mustered the resources to terraform it and construct an underground base, and the materials to build machines necessary to draw a TARDIS out of the Vortex mid-flight.

And the military forces to cut him off from his ship, from his friends, from reality. Without warning, all that pain and rage and despair came flooding back, and it was as if he were still there, trapped in his own mind. It was only with great effort that he managed to thrust the visions back.

He glanced at the ceiling suspiciously. "You're not just keeping the real information from me, are you, old girl?"

She didn't bother to acknowledge him, not with the slightest flicker or trill.

Feeling sullky, he scuffed his boot angrily against the wall. Not that it mattered, really. If she was keeping things from him, it was only because the timelines were at stake and he was supposed to figure it out on his own.

Hot tears stung his eyes for no good reason. He reached for the next book, wanting to pummel it into giving up the answers he sought. Maybe, if he focused hard enough, he could shed these violent emotions for a bit.

There was a quiet beep on the other side of the room. When he turned toward it, he found the TARDIS had left a blanket and a pillow spread across the settee, just waiting for him.

"I don't. Want. To sleep," he ground out, but it was only half the truth. The other half was that he looked at that blanket and imagined curling up next to Rose. Her human warmth tucked up next to his chest and his arms around her.

He couldn't. She didn't deserve to have him bothering her now, after she'd spent the whole night cycle keeping his demons at bay. She needed this time to rest, and he would let her have it. Closing his eyes and reinforcing his mental shields, he reached for the next book.


End file.
